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ratsonjulia

Lake Woebegone

Member Since 2002

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Tuesday Jan 07, 2003

Jan 7, 2003
0
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typed a whole bunch tonight about tonight & lost it.

dang.

anyway--some stuff that I came up with tonight with the typewriter going, beer nearby, WFUV (NYC) streaming & Weekly World News in my music stand:

------------

the arrogance of siamese twins
the shared synapses, blood vessels
grey matter overlapping grey matter
someplace in Singapore
where the lawyers are all siamese twins
& arrogant, the nerve of them
dark-eyed, sharing a hair-cut
no fear, no anxiety
sharing pharmaceutical dreams
of knives & leaves & ravenous hats
appointments, dates, facts
flowing back&forth, two-chambered
underground sea, see?
about to be earthquaked, rifted
split, drifting apart
miles distant, the thoughts:
electric blue
penguin shoes
lethal protractors
caratotid artery
imaginary obituaries--
occur simultaneously
an orgasm felt while pressing the button
in an elevator
& this retained, this vital-as-oxygen
arrogance

---------------

HOW TO AVOID A SPEEDING TICKET

1. no left turns, ever.
2. never ever ever.
3. leave broken bones at home.
4. crooked racing stripes.
5. fuzzy dice oriented towards mecca.
6. the Lord's Prayer in Braille on the dashboard.
7. an expensive hat, cocked.
8. a convincing explanation for the feathers under the backseat,.
9. a steering wheel made of dried eels.
10. sentient headlights, & what they want.
11. purging the phrase "piggy little eyes" from reply.
12. weld the zipper shut.
13. pretend to be an eskimo, in an eskimobile.
14. grind teeth only afterwards.
15. staple kilt to the seat.
16. upholster, unupholster, upholster, unupholster.
17. knuckle the gearshift in a casual way.
18. the slight tremor of the antennae.
20. smile like you've just left Pompeii.

------------

having stole the car
having evaded the authorities
having appeared on t.v.
having eaten the radio
having seduced the interstate
having melted the stopsign
having appropriated all the yellow lines
the white lines, the wakeup ridges

digesting the BurmaShave signs
oneatatime
leaving only splinters, dribbles of paint
& a whiff of decay
ears ever pricked
teeth filed
keep yer claws on the wheel
the accelerator flat as Kansas
red&yellow eyes rotating counter-clockwise
knuckles knobby & wet
trickling caustic urine
but otherwise
feelin' fine.

---------------------------

I think I've taught the bird
all the profanity his black little
reptillian brain
will retain.
he's quite the talent for obscenity,
the screwy little bastard.

I don't know what to do next.

I tried a few phrases in French
the state capitals
the periodic table
Waiting for Godot
the ingredients for my Shampoo
Horton Hears a Who
an encyclopedia entry
on the Adirondacs.
but no.

the fucker.

--------------------------

the President is tired of fighting.
he thinks of the good old days
when he could draw a line on the map
when he could give the order
when he could bomb
when he didn't have to make eye-contact.
when it happened
without happening
it was just done--
folks went in one side
& came out the other as treaties
monuments, columns of figures
briefings, & a bit on the news
squashed between footbal scores
& commercials for hamburgers.
not like this.
this is insane.
he's very, very tired.

--------------------

(there was an article about a troupe in germany that plays music using only instruments made from vegetables--this is sort of a riff on the names of some of the instruments, but most of it is just screwing around with the typewriter)

karottenflotten gurkophon melanziniklappe
melanziniklappe karottenflotten gurkophon
porkillatiken
gurkophon melanziniklappe sellaphus
mantiscusis oubiphonica
bahlla bahlla bahlla bahlla bah
bahlla bahlla bahlla bah
bahlla bahlla bah
bahlla bahlla bahlla bah
keeskah keeskah bahlla bahlla bahlla bah
karotten flotten flotten flotten
karottenflotten karotenflotten
melanziniklappe flotten bah
mantiscusis iscusis cusis mantiscusis bah
bahlla bahlla bahlla bahllabahllabahbah bahbah bah
gurkophon awanna gurkophon awanna gurkophon bah
karottenflotten bah
gurkophon iscusis cusis
karottenflotten bah

-----------------------

there's a woman riding a bottle rocket
the day is white
she's watching a splash of fern
out of the corner of her eye.

she rode the bottle rocket west
until it ran out of atmosphere.

her single-piece swimsuit
wasn't much of a parachute.

fortunately, she was over the ocean.

the Atlantic, I think.

anyway, she ended up in Memphis.

Tennessee, not Egypt.

she makes a little bit of money
telling fortunes for tourists.

she spends it all on bottle rockets.

--------------

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
tororo:
Oh well, the h hasn't gone in the right place.
Um.
Jan 7, 2003
tororo:
I made an attempt to write something vaguely serial-like in my journal.... an I realized how different it is to write silly things once in a while from attempting to write something with a special purpose in mind!
(note: if you find anything grammatically strange in it, it's not on purpose...)

As critic is much more easier than art, I'll give you my opinion about what you wrote using the " weekly world news + pack of beer" method: I adored it
My favorites being " karottenflotte bah". And 'the fucker". And "the arrogance of siamese twins ", especially these last lines I've found excellent, "& this retained, this vital-as-oxygen
arrogance".
And "the president..." And "HOW TO AVOID...." And maybe if "having stole the car" isn't listed with the favorites it's because there are many sayings in it that are unfamiliar to me and I'm not sure I uderstand. (and what's a bottle rocket?)
Jan 8, 2003

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