a couple of days ago I recieved an envelope from what I initially thought was the RPGA, or Role Playing Gamers Associaition, which puzzled me a bit since I haven't played a role-playing game since my sophomore year in high school (& then I was puzzled a bit further as to how long that acronym has lain dormant in my troubled mind)--but on opening it realized that it was, in fact, from the RGA, or Republican Governors Association.
it contained a letter drawing my attention to the fact that many Republican Governors have to wrap shopping bags around their bare feet to protect them from the freezing cold sidewalks, live on 3 calories a day, & often resort to prostitution to pay for their insulin. (or something like that, I just kind of skimmed the letter & filled in the blank spaces my own self)
anyway, the letter contained a self-addressed, stamped envelope to return the card by which I could sponsor a Republican Governor for just pennies a day & would presumably recieve a letter every month detailing how my generosity kept said official from having to sell a self-extracted kidney in order to buy a stamp to mail the letter. or something.
as work was kinda slow last night, I drafted the following letter, which I might need to tinker with a bit on account of it's possibly being too subtle:
Dear Bloodsuckers,
I regret to inform you that I am both unable & unwilling to contribute to your loathsome cult at this time, & suggest that you follow the example of your fearless leader & provide satisfaction to any corporate special interest concern with a wad of oily bills & an open fly--or of your colleagues in the Senate & the House of Republicans as they fasten, leechlike, to the quivering & bloated carcass of the military-industrial complex (although I understand that the prime locations at the chapped & swollen teats are crowded & there's scarce room for another snout to squeeze in--nonetheless, there is always a chance of finding some coin while splashing downstream amid the fecal matter & slime).
There's plenty more money to be squeezed out of America, out of our future, you're just not trying hard enough! There's plenty more places to drill, to dump--plenty more places to build our Weapons of Manifest Destiny to scatter foreign soil with the entrails of our enemies, or at least of those that happen to, like, get in the way.
You're making definite progress by cementing the, I'm sorry, idiotic phrase "War on Terrorism" into the lexicon so that grown-ups are actually taking it seriously (& I thought you'd shot the wad with "Compassionate Conservative") & endlessly mouthing the words "freedom" & "security" until they are, sorry again, rendered meaningless if not offensive by context.
However, I'm sorry to say that until you change the name of your organization to "Committee for the Public Disemboweling of Republican Governors" you will find me financially uncooperative.
But please keep in touch, 'kay?
love & kisses,
[ratsonjulia], Concerned Citizen
it contained a letter drawing my attention to the fact that many Republican Governors have to wrap shopping bags around their bare feet to protect them from the freezing cold sidewalks, live on 3 calories a day, & often resort to prostitution to pay for their insulin. (or something like that, I just kind of skimmed the letter & filled in the blank spaces my own self)
anyway, the letter contained a self-addressed, stamped envelope to return the card by which I could sponsor a Republican Governor for just pennies a day & would presumably recieve a letter every month detailing how my generosity kept said official from having to sell a self-extracted kidney in order to buy a stamp to mail the letter. or something.
as work was kinda slow last night, I drafted the following letter, which I might need to tinker with a bit on account of it's possibly being too subtle:
Dear Bloodsuckers,
I regret to inform you that I am both unable & unwilling to contribute to your loathsome cult at this time, & suggest that you follow the example of your fearless leader & provide satisfaction to any corporate special interest concern with a wad of oily bills & an open fly--or of your colleagues in the Senate & the House of Republicans as they fasten, leechlike, to the quivering & bloated carcass of the military-industrial complex (although I understand that the prime locations at the chapped & swollen teats are crowded & there's scarce room for another snout to squeeze in--nonetheless, there is always a chance of finding some coin while splashing downstream amid the fecal matter & slime).
There's plenty more money to be squeezed out of America, out of our future, you're just not trying hard enough! There's plenty more places to drill, to dump--plenty more places to build our Weapons of Manifest Destiny to scatter foreign soil with the entrails of our enemies, or at least of those that happen to, like, get in the way.
You're making definite progress by cementing the, I'm sorry, idiotic phrase "War on Terrorism" into the lexicon so that grown-ups are actually taking it seriously (& I thought you'd shot the wad with "Compassionate Conservative") & endlessly mouthing the words "freedom" & "security" until they are, sorry again, rendered meaningless if not offensive by context.
However, I'm sorry to say that until you change the name of your organization to "Committee for the Public Disemboweling of Republican Governors" you will find me financially uncooperative.
But please keep in touch, 'kay?
love & kisses,
[ratsonjulia], Concerned Citizen
oninotaki:
You should remember to wish them a happy thanksgiving