spent the morning lounging, avoiding whatever might be going on outside the door.
partner called to tell me that she was about to get on a plane back to NYC.
landlady called to ask about the fire.
sister called to ask me to go to the office supply store on the corner to pick up a power-of-attorney form.
oy.
showered. bought the form (& an extra, just in case) & went to the sisters.
played with neice, had some fun shooting baby carrots at the wooden fence with my slingshot. (they, the baby carrots, just kinda disintegrate on impact, leaving a bright orange smear on whatever surface on whatever it hit. we tried "frosted mini wheats" as well, but they shredded en-route.)
sister played nintendo with the nephew. we didn't talk much about what was going on.
went to the hospital. mom was asleep & hooked up to a machine to give her blood, & a machine to give her fluids & nutrients, & a machine to keep track of what her body was doing.
woke her up. her eyes opened but I'm not sure if there was anything behind them. I chattered inanely for a while.
she looks bad. she's looked bad for a while now.
she's 52. most of what's happening to her, rotting her from the inside out, is her own doing. she just decided that she didn't like life much, & her body is catching on.
what the FUCK do you do?
(rhetorical question. you endure.)
went to a bar & read the paper.
the whole sept. 11 thing has bugged me from day one. on that day my partner was still living here. I was dreadfully hung-over & stumbled out of the bedroom around noon. partner was out on the front porch on the phone. at this time we were trying to keep smoking confined to outside the house, & we'd been pretty good about. I went outside & smoked.
I went back inside & kinda glanced at the tv. the sound was low, but y'all know what I saw. you saw it too, right?
she had come here from NYC just a little while before, & most of her friends were clustered around the area.. & she'd worked in the WTC a few years ago as a temp, I'd gone there to meet her after work by the fountain.
the moratorium on smoking in the house was lifted & we smoked like fiends, watching the tv.
we were both kinda numb, but we still felt the whole thing stunk. there was something off about it.
we talked about the ugliness that was coming, & it came. flags were all over the fucking place.
(sorry, rant: the flag is not a fashion accessory, or a bumper sticker, or a lawn ornament, or a lapel adornment, & it's not what the boys & girls in our various wars died for, & it's not something that you should pledge allegiance to. America is bigger than that, dig? think the constitution, think the Bill of Rights, think about all the good we stand for & all the shit that we've DONE that we need to face. I know that it's a year down the line & fewer people are spouting this, but "they" didn't attack us "because of our freedom". wear your flag in your heart. be an American & be proud, but not the Ugly American that thinks the rest of the world is there to serve you. grow up, please. share the sandbox. the "sleeping giant" awkened is named Goliath. don't forget that.
okay, end of rant.)
partner called to tell me that she was about to get on a plane back to NYC.
landlady called to ask about the fire.
sister called to ask me to go to the office supply store on the corner to pick up a power-of-attorney form.
oy.
showered. bought the form (& an extra, just in case) & went to the sisters.
played with neice, had some fun shooting baby carrots at the wooden fence with my slingshot. (they, the baby carrots, just kinda disintegrate on impact, leaving a bright orange smear on whatever surface on whatever it hit. we tried "frosted mini wheats" as well, but they shredded en-route.)
sister played nintendo with the nephew. we didn't talk much about what was going on.
went to the hospital. mom was asleep & hooked up to a machine to give her blood, & a machine to give her fluids & nutrients, & a machine to keep track of what her body was doing.
woke her up. her eyes opened but I'm not sure if there was anything behind them. I chattered inanely for a while.
she looks bad. she's looked bad for a while now.
she's 52. most of what's happening to her, rotting her from the inside out, is her own doing. she just decided that she didn't like life much, & her body is catching on.
what the FUCK do you do?
(rhetorical question. you endure.)
went to a bar & read the paper.
the whole sept. 11 thing has bugged me from day one. on that day my partner was still living here. I was dreadfully hung-over & stumbled out of the bedroom around noon. partner was out on the front porch on the phone. at this time we were trying to keep smoking confined to outside the house, & we'd been pretty good about. I went outside & smoked.
I went back inside & kinda glanced at the tv. the sound was low, but y'all know what I saw. you saw it too, right?
she had come here from NYC just a little while before, & most of her friends were clustered around the area.. & she'd worked in the WTC a few years ago as a temp, I'd gone there to meet her after work by the fountain.
the moratorium on smoking in the house was lifted & we smoked like fiends, watching the tv.
we were both kinda numb, but we still felt the whole thing stunk. there was something off about it.
we talked about the ugliness that was coming, & it came. flags were all over the fucking place.
(sorry, rant: the flag is not a fashion accessory, or a bumper sticker, or a lawn ornament, or a lapel adornment, & it's not what the boys & girls in our various wars died for, & it's not something that you should pledge allegiance to. America is bigger than that, dig? think the constitution, think the Bill of Rights, think about all the good we stand for & all the shit that we've DONE that we need to face. I know that it's a year down the line & fewer people are spouting this, but "they" didn't attack us "because of our freedom". wear your flag in your heart. be an American & be proud, but not the Ugly American that thinks the rest of the world is there to serve you. grow up, please. share the sandbox. the "sleeping giant" awkened is named Goliath. don't forget that.
okay, end of rant.)
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mine changes all the time.