rationaldementia

Like most people who have the misfortune to work in the public sector, I am forced to listen to constant Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until Dec. 26th. While trying to drown out the awful racket by thinking of good music, I came up with these alternate lyrics to Pantera's "This Love." Stupid, I know, but it passes the time.

"Santa Claus"
words by:A.C.
sung to the tune of "This Love"
by: Pantera (From the album "Vulgar Display of Power)

He brings you lots of presents every Christmas Eve.
He watches you while you sleep.
Call him "Nick". Call him "Kringle." Call him a saint,
whatever you choose.
But at all times, be sure to remember, be a good child.
'Cause He's watching you!

He comes into your home, he can not be stopped.

He's Santa Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!

He's Santa Claus! Elves!
Claus! Reindeer!
Claus! Sleigh!

He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa CLAUS!

He's been around for ages, he is immortal.
He spreads good cheer 'round all the world.
But if you're Buhdist, or a Hebrew or a Muslim, he won't come see you.
Worship Ganeesh if you want to but if you do,
then he hates you.

No toys for aetheist children either. He won't come.

He's Santa Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!

He's Santa Claus! Beard!
Claus! Boots!
Claus! Sack!

He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa CLAUUUUUUSSSSSSssssSSS!

He lives at the North POLLLLLEEEEE!

He's Santa Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!
Claus! Ho!

He's Santa Claus! Dasher!
Claus! Donner!
Claus! Rudolph!

He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa Claus! Claus! Claus!
He's Santa CLAUUUUSSSSSssssSS!

He's Santa Claus!
He's Santa Claus!
He's Santa Claus!
He's Santa CLAUUUSSSS!

Be good, kids.