So, a little catching up.
I've been in a rather massive slump since Saturday. I could go into a long heartfelt rant about why, but that's not so important. The important thing is where it's led me. The last few days have been a lot about "Where is my life going?" "What am I worth? / AM I worth anything?", and I've been dealing with a variety of insecurities and worries, rational and otherwise. I'm still not entirely sure how to vocalize it all, but it's getting better.
I've started organizing my life to help deal with all this. I now have some clear short-term, mid-term and long-term goals. I know what I need to do to acheive them. The problem now is willpower. If I can find that, I can last.I now have ALL my classes in the mid to high 80's range, and some heavily weighted projects to come, so I'm pretty sure I can hit my 90% average by semester's end. Work is a pain, a MAJOR pain, but if they don't give me any flack for all the time I've missed recently, I think I'll be ok. It's just until June... just until June.
Big goal: I need to stop counting people out. For some reason, the minute things get a little bad for me, I seem to think everyone is walking away or will walk away from me. Maybe that ties into my lack of confidence, I don't know. All I know for sure is that I need to look around me and realize who's here to stay. I think that overall, I need to shift my focus from negative to positive, from have-not to have, and It's not something I do easily. Unfortunately, my life is not full of accomplishments like I hoped it would be by now, but I guess I need to look harder.
No sad song or lyrics today, but I will ask a question, because I enjoy the answers:
Summer is over, the cold weather is coming. What item of clothing are you looking forward to wearing, and why?
I've been in a rather massive slump since Saturday. I could go into a long heartfelt rant about why, but that's not so important. The important thing is where it's led me. The last few days have been a lot about "Where is my life going?" "What am I worth? / AM I worth anything?", and I've been dealing with a variety of insecurities and worries, rational and otherwise. I'm still not entirely sure how to vocalize it all, but it's getting better.
I've started organizing my life to help deal with all this. I now have some clear short-term, mid-term and long-term goals. I know what I need to do to acheive them. The problem now is willpower. If I can find that, I can last.I now have ALL my classes in the mid to high 80's range, and some heavily weighted projects to come, so I'm pretty sure I can hit my 90% average by semester's end. Work is a pain, a MAJOR pain, but if they don't give me any flack for all the time I've missed recently, I think I'll be ok. It's just until June... just until June.
Big goal: I need to stop counting people out. For some reason, the minute things get a little bad for me, I seem to think everyone is walking away or will walk away from me. Maybe that ties into my lack of confidence, I don't know. All I know for sure is that I need to look around me and realize who's here to stay. I think that overall, I need to shift my focus from negative to positive, from have-not to have, and It's not something I do easily. Unfortunately, my life is not full of accomplishments like I hoped it would be by now, but I guess I need to look harder.
No sad song or lyrics today, but I will ask a question, because I enjoy the answers:
Summer is over, the cold weather is coming. What item of clothing are you looking forward to wearing, and why?
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
kmatt:
I am most excited to wear my shorts. Reasoning? It means either I've gone insane and don't care anyways, or that the winter is over and it's warm again.
clarkekid:
Ah ha... so you suggest battling stupidity with stupidity. 