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ratedpg

Canada

Member Since 2005

Followers 13 Following 85

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Wednesday Sep 05, 2007

Sep 5, 2007
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This is going to be semi-organized at best, so bear with me!

I just got THE sweetest compliment in my inbox. It's a paragraph long, and made me smile when I read it. I won't post it, but suffice to say it's nice to hear something positive on a day like today. It wasn't overly bad, but it was SUPER stressful. Today is teh day I caught up with my schoolwork. I bombed a quiz and I barely scraped by on a lab assignment, but I think I'll be ok in the end. I just need to work on my next big assignment and make sure it kicks ass. I'll likely be blogging as I go, so you'll be flooded with design-chatter.

I was going to rant about something that's a HUGE pet peeve of mine, but I won't. Instead, I'll go to a related topic, something much more positive. It's a concept that, as an agnostic Irish Catholic, I don't entertain very often, but it's brought me some security and enlightenment lately. Not to mention, it help sme cope with some things.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Faith


I'm not talking about religion, or faith in God. I'm talking about belief in something. Specifically, I've focused on faith in other people. Faith that they will be there, that they aren't out to do me harm. Faith that they really want to be a part of my life. Some of this is trust more than faith, but still... As someone who has been too damned stubborn his whole life and doesn't let people in easily, reminding myself to have faith in other people has been a source of extreme doubt, but of strength. Fear of gettinghur is a perfectly valid concern for anyone. But now is not the time to play it safe.

I've also tried to have faith in myself. I've tried to look at my life from the "accomplishments" column rather than teh "failures" one. I admit, there are quite a few checkmarks in that column, but I need to start appreciating them. I'm my own worst critic, most people are, but I need to start acknowledging some of the positive things in my life.

One more "self-help" paragraph, then I'm done, I promise. 2 INCREDIBLY important people in my life have called BS on me for pushing them away. This was maybe last week, or before that. I honestly can't say it's intentional, or even consciuos, but apparently, it happens. So I did what any curious early-life-crisis guy would do. I asked a handful of friends I trust. I've never seen all my friends agree on a point so readily. Not one hesitated. They all said yes, and they all gave me slightly different perspectives. So I'm still a lot more defensive and more of a loner than Ithought I was. I had hoped that most of that was behind me. Maybe I'm not quite as grown up as I've thought. Or maybe my life focus is in the wrong spot. Whatever it is, it's more self discovery, and I welcome that.

I'm done with the introsepctive soul searching stuff for now.

Question:
If we went on a date, where would we go and what would we do?

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
rubix:
i agree.. booo work!!

and boo back pain!!

a date huh... maybe dinner and a comedy show!?
Sep 9, 2007
tinyhobo:
If I wasn't at work you rcommet would have had me turning on the water works.

thanks so much my dear smile
xoxoxox
Sep 10, 2007

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