ratchet

I am a total smart ass.

At the Chapel Hills Mall Joe and I see this advertisement for the Pet expo with a contest for looking like your pet.

Joe: I should take my snake

Me: Yeah you should, considering you are one.

Reaction: bites me on the arm, hard, and leaves a nasty mark which is still there by the way.
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Patient in the hospital was yelling "Help!" out into the hallway, so I bite and go into the room (not my patient).

Patient: She needs to go to the bathroom real bad (no one there).

Me: Well don't hold her back, let her go to the bathroom (bad nurse, bad).

Reaction: patient shuts the hell up for the rest of the night because the delusion has ceased.
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Had to add one more from last night... Regulator comes on as Brina and I are talking to some asshole that won't leave us alone.

Me talking to weirdo Kevin: Why don't you go "Regulate" yourself on the dance floor, alone"

Reaction: doesn't take the hint. Has to be thrown out.