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ratbastard

Washington DC (Skywall)

Member Since 2003

Followers 11 Following 18

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Monday Apr 25, 2005

Apr 25, 2005
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If Vin Diesel warns you on AOL instant messenger once, it hurts emotionally. If he has to warn you again, it may hurt physically

Vin Diesel has a spinning bowtie that automatically propells him when he wears rollerskates, but he'll kill you if you see him do it.

Vin Diesel was grown in a lab from DNA samples of all four members of ABBA.

Vin Diesel has spent thousands of hours and a personal fortune trying to convince the band Ramstein to do a cover of 'Broken Wings' by Mr. Mister.

Vin Diesel once ran out of alcohol, and tried drinking gasoline instead. He found it so delicious he singlehandedly caused the gas shortage of 1974.

Vin Diesel is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

Michael Jackson never touched Vin Diesel inappropriately. But Vin Diesel did write Thriller.

Vin Diesel once dug a hole to China, where he ate Chairman Mao.

Vin Diesel's most prized possessions are Walt Disney's brain and every issue of Cat Fancy magazine.

Vin Diesel got so mad after September 11th that he wrote Pink Floyd's "The Wall."

If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Vin Diesel once saved a busload of orphans from going off a cliff, but only to consume them because he hadn't had breakfast that morning.

He can make you pregnant through 3 seconds of sustained eye contact.

He has a secret trap-door under every rug in his home which he'll use to Shanghai people into becomming his own personal servants. Follow Up: He has 217 servants.

Vin Diesel is the only person alive who can orally communicate by FORTRAN.

Vin Diesel's semen is so corrosive that if he were ever to ejaculate it would tear apart the very fabric of the universe.

Vin Diesel did not use a microphone to record his work on The Iron Giant, he simply shouted his lines at the film reel and it got with the program.

Vin Diesel once built a stairway to heaven, but was forced destroyed it to avoid paying royalties.

In the unlikely event of his death Vin Diesel can perform his own autopsy.

Vin Diesel docks 80% of the US Naval Fleet in his personal Jacuzzi.

When Vin Diesel finds a coin on the ground, he punches a nun. Vin Diesel rarely finds coins, and yet has punched more nuns than can easily be counted. Go figure.

Vin Diesel has donated more than $250k over the years to Varg Vikernes' legal defense fund

William Shatner was originally supposed to shout "VIN DIESELLLL!," but Vin Diesel showed him how to shorten it into one syllable; hence, "KHAAAAAN!"

Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.

One time a reporter asked Vin Diesel if he preferred creamy or crunchy peanut butter. Vin Diesel responded by covering the reporter in jam and eating him between two slices of bread.

He was created by the D&D Corporation to give nerds false hope that they too can grow up to be attractive and cool

Vin Diesel can read braille with his scrotum.

Vin Diesel predicted the holocaust but did absolutely nothing about it.

Vin Diesel carved all the statues on Easter Island as a Mothers Day gift.

Vin Diesel tried to start a business where he would recharge batteries simply by gripping them in his hands.

According to Diesel, all animals look that much sexier if you put them in a thong.

Vin Diesel invented Earl Grey tea by boiling a guy named Earl Grey alive and drinking the broth.

Vin Diesel is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

Vin Diesel could eat broken shards of glass for breakfast if he wanted to. However, he doesn't, because he prefers to drink molten lava.

The Hulk is really just Vin Diesel painted green.
doll_:
which brings me only to this conclusion:
vin diesel is not only a man among men, but THE man among men. whatever
Apr 28, 2005
sexyadventurer:
Haha...no, but thanks for responding. I like that piece too, by the way. And I did my analysis done! Yay!
May 2, 2005

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