Well ain't that some shit.
Apparently the old man (My Father) has decided that he wants to meet his grandson.
I can't say I'm shocked, or even surprised. I'm actually impressed that enough effort was put forth to get the information to me. Keep in mind, I wasn't personally contacted by him. His current wife (truely an angel) spoke with my mother, who in turn let me know.
Tammy (The Wife) is honestly a wonderful gal. There is no sarcasm there, and I consider her daughter Jenn to be my little sister.
I have been horribly neglectful in my relationship with them both. I am not oblivious of the similarities.
A little history.
In my entire life, all contact I've had with JTO3 has been facilitated by his woman du jour. I've a long history of wives, daughters and loved ones tracking me down on his behalf and telling me sad stories of lonelieness and regret. To them I'm a key component to his happiness and inner peace. To me, I've been made to feel non-essential at best, and a potentially violent adversary at worst. Mostly, I just don't exist at all in that world. Fine, I've come to terms with it. The game changes severely when there is a child (and wife) involved.
I feel like my responsibility to my son is to allow him an unbiased opinion of his grandfather. It's unfair for me to paint a picture of my father and make Bob accept it. He's 6 months old now, but someday that WILL matter to him. I'm obligated to be the bridge between him and his family, not create his views out of thin air and taint his own history, let alone that of future generations.
So I told my mom this... (Because we're in High School, and that's how we communicate)
If they are willing to make the effort to travel here from Florida to meet Bob, then I will allow it, be gracious, and not create any issues. It will be a pleasent visit with the goal of establishing a relationship between my father, and my son. They will be welcome in our home, I will cook for them, and they will be welcome to get a taste of the life we lead here.
The only stipulation is this.
If JTO3 wants to be a part of Bobs life, then it's permanent. He will BE Grandpa, and live up to his family obligations. I will protect my son from anyone who will hurt him. This visit won't be JTO3 taking 3 days to clean his guilt then fuck off again feeling like 40ish years of bullshit is free and clear. I'm expecting my son to get Christmas presents, phone calls, and support when he acheaves good things in his life. If that's too much to ask, then fine. Stay in Florida and don't waste our time. My son is a fragile child who WILL grow up to be a strong, intellegent, compassionate, and moral man. JTO3 can be a part of it, or not, but I will not allow him to come and go as he pleases and force the same issues on Bob that he did on me.
OK
Schadenfreude:
is a German word meaning 'pleasure from misfortune'.
It DOES NOT apply to anything above. For what that's worth, I'm happy the old man gives a shit.
The subject is someone entirely unrelated, who is enjoying a little Karma. Nothing more needs to be said about it. Shutting the fuck up works in your favor sometimes... LOL See you soon shitbag.
Apparently the old man (My Father) has decided that he wants to meet his grandson.
I can't say I'm shocked, or even surprised. I'm actually impressed that enough effort was put forth to get the information to me. Keep in mind, I wasn't personally contacted by him. His current wife (truely an angel) spoke with my mother, who in turn let me know.
Tammy (The Wife) is honestly a wonderful gal. There is no sarcasm there, and I consider her daughter Jenn to be my little sister.
I have been horribly neglectful in my relationship with them both. I am not oblivious of the similarities.
A little history.
In my entire life, all contact I've had with JTO3 has been facilitated by his woman du jour. I've a long history of wives, daughters and loved ones tracking me down on his behalf and telling me sad stories of lonelieness and regret. To them I'm a key component to his happiness and inner peace. To me, I've been made to feel non-essential at best, and a potentially violent adversary at worst. Mostly, I just don't exist at all in that world. Fine, I've come to terms with it. The game changes severely when there is a child (and wife) involved.
I feel like my responsibility to my son is to allow him an unbiased opinion of his grandfather. It's unfair for me to paint a picture of my father and make Bob accept it. He's 6 months old now, but someday that WILL matter to him. I'm obligated to be the bridge between him and his family, not create his views out of thin air and taint his own history, let alone that of future generations.
So I told my mom this... (Because we're in High School, and that's how we communicate)
If they are willing to make the effort to travel here from Florida to meet Bob, then I will allow it, be gracious, and not create any issues. It will be a pleasent visit with the goal of establishing a relationship between my father, and my son. They will be welcome in our home, I will cook for them, and they will be welcome to get a taste of the life we lead here.
The only stipulation is this.
If JTO3 wants to be a part of Bobs life, then it's permanent. He will BE Grandpa, and live up to his family obligations. I will protect my son from anyone who will hurt him. This visit won't be JTO3 taking 3 days to clean his guilt then fuck off again feeling like 40ish years of bullshit is free and clear. I'm expecting my son to get Christmas presents, phone calls, and support when he acheaves good things in his life. If that's too much to ask, then fine. Stay in Florida and don't waste our time. My son is a fragile child who WILL grow up to be a strong, intellegent, compassionate, and moral man. JTO3 can be a part of it, or not, but I will not allow him to come and go as he pleases and force the same issues on Bob that he did on me.
OK
Schadenfreude:
is a German word meaning 'pleasure from misfortune'.
It DOES NOT apply to anything above. For what that's worth, I'm happy the old man gives a shit.
The subject is someone entirely unrelated, who is enjoying a little Karma. Nothing more needs to be said about it. Shutting the fuck up works in your favor sometimes... LOL See you soon shitbag.