ratbastard

I miss my friends... Badly... I just have a habit of cocooning when I don't have a lot of positive shit going on.. It's the John equivalent of.."If you don't have anything nice to say....".

Frankly, these days ,I don't. I love my wife, and I'm working hard to make things better, but frankly, I don't have a lot of shit going on that makes me want to party...

For what it's worth, I know it's selfish.. I know it's immature, but the reason I haven't been in contact is due to my own need to just be left alone. The wierd thing is that I DO miss my friends. I just don't want to be all depressed and be "That Guy". I'm not cut out to be the Sad Sack.

I'm sorry. It's cheap, and weak. I've done it all my life. I'm aware of it, and I'm embarrassed by it. I've been blessed to know people who tolerate it, even if they really have no reason to.

If you read this, and you feel it applies, then be damn sure I'm talking to you. It's a short list, but I won't list names and sound like a suckup. You know who you guys are, and I love you all. I owe you a BBQ and some serious punk rock mayhem. I just need to get my head strait and be a little closer to the John you know and love, instead of the self pitying pussy I portray on the interweb.

"After the Murder Junkies show, I'm gonna drift waywardly over to the homeless shelter and kick someone for thier sandwich. I hope the Nuns don't sic thier Chef on me".