Whoa. Okay then. Just had a freakout a few days ago. I think I haven't really graduated, so I'm a little upset at the moment. I need to sort it out. I'm very good at avoiding my problems, but it doesn't really solve them... I need a buttload of money. I really don't need that much stuff -my only real sin is my love of eating out. I will always eat out. I've got a crappy pile of personal debts to pay off, then I can get back to having a life without walking on eggshells, so I can pay off my student loans. If I'm good with that, I'll be able to go have a nice productive life.

I'm lazy, which is why I should be ashamed. Some people are really troubled, and can't escape their circumstances. I'm a little neurotic, and a lot irresponsible -so there's really no one to blame for my problems but me. I hope I've received the last swift kick in the ass I'll ever need.

But I have to keep working. I don't know why I'm comfortable with so many things going wrong. I shouldn't want to be a chronic fuck-up.