Monday Sep 09, 2002

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I had a busy fun day! I went to The Metro, Hot Topic :[ Powell's, and Ozone recorders uk.

I also spent some money today I got some of the new Jolt Energy Mints and a really rare Black Heart Procession record.

Goodtimes!
emily:
I'm happy that you had a good time!
emily:
you know.....I don't see why you think I was mad,or mean to you.....It wasnt like that at all...really,but I guess if you don't want to talk to me anymore...there is nothing that I can really do about it I guess.....=(

Sunday Sep 08, 2002

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Despite all I say despite all I scream no one really understands.
I dont want them to try.
I don't need your judgment.
I don't need your words of compassion.
I'm not going to tell you how I feel.
I'm not going to sit and try to explain my actions explain my sickness.
It's not my place to answer to you.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
emily:
More later...
randomdent:
Once again I love your poems!

Sunday Sep 08, 2002

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I havent had any form of sexual pleasure in forever. God I feel ugly and bad about myself.

Why lie? Ill be honest. If I don't find away to move out of this house I'm going to end up just trying to kill myself with pills again. I just can't deal with it out here and on top of that the one thing I need...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
emily:
well shit.........I don't know WHAT to say then.......
orchid1:
Please don't kill yourself, things will get better and you'll find a job so you can move to a place that makes you happy. It might take time but it will be worth it when it happens. Job hunting is horrible but everyone has to do it and it always sucks, but then you'll find a great job and it will have been worth it.
And there is no reason you should feel ugly and bad, you're really hot and you'll get a girl who knows that and wants to take you in public and fuck you in the rain, hell Emily sounds like she really wants to be that girl, don't kill yourself, life will get better and if you're dead you can't enjoy all the great stuff thats still coming, you're just 19, theres so much that still has to happen, don't leave on a bad note. besides if you die now you can't sleep with Emily and I think she'd be disappointed and I'm going to guess that you would be too...

Sunday Sep 08, 2002

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I havent had any form of sexual pleasure in forever. God I feel ugly and bad about myself.
emily:
Well don't feel that way...I'LL give you LOTS of ....yeah....."goodtimes" as you would say!!eh..eh..?=)
You're SO not ugly!!and your voice is so cute too!!I LOVE IT!!

Saturday Sep 07, 2002

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God I need to move of out really really badly....Living here sometimes doesn't really seem like living at all....

I'm really sad right now.....I want to do something today....Now one is around to hang out with me but if anyone in portland wants to meet up or something my email is circuitsfone@hotmail.com.

Also this will be my next tattoo.

010010010110111001100110011011110111001001101101011000010111010001101001011011110110111000100000011101110110000101101110011101000111001100100000011101000110111100100000011000100110010100100000011001100111001001100101011001010010000100000000
emily:
;jkahfjkasdh!!!!!!!!!!!!COME PLAY WITH ME!
emily:
........and don't be sad....

Saturday Sep 07, 2002

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We ended up getting over to the meeting pretty early so we walked around some and I found some sour pez at wam and that stuff is super yummy. After that we went to the meeting and it was a good meeting. I won't say much here cause I'm going to write a meeting review for the website and ill just link to it and...
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emily:
.......I don't really umm nevermind......
emily:
Pez kicks ass!!MY ass.........

Thursday Sep 05, 2002

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I hate things...

People
Relingon
Humans with an IQ under 130
Daytime
Light
Being poor
My hurtful shoes
When someone doesnt say thanks

The list just goes on and on for me...I want to leave so badly I can feel it in my cold body
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
randomdent:
Of course it is. I can't wait for you to come and see me so we can live it out smile
orchid1:
I do like the rain fantasy alot, but since it's already taken, lucky Emily...but yeah I will work on socks, one of my roommates apparently makes nice socks and she's supposed to be teaching me...

Wednesday Sep 04, 2002

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Today ended up being a nice normal day for me....Nothing to new and great happend at all....blah.....I'm cold as hell.....I need a hoodie for my birthday.....

*wink wink*

Grrrr there is so much stuff I really really need right now but I can't buy because of my money problems....My shoes really hurt my feet so I have been taking them off as I drive sometimes...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
randomdent:
Thank you emily!!! It can be for my birthday!!! Plus you need to give me my 20 spanks on the ass!
orchid1:
I'm not sure I know how to instant message, or how to set that up. If I figure it out I will. In any event I'll try to.

Tuesday Sep 03, 2002

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You know ill be 20 befor I know it and I'm no where in my life that I feel I should be...As hard as I'm trying I feel so stuck....I don't know what to do anymore to find a job that will pay enough for me to move out.... I feel like such a fucking loser right now....

Today will be another hardcore job hunting...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
emily:
OH YEAH!!!I'm gonna take some new sets next weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!=)
emily:
The Pixies...."Death to the Pixies" kicks SO much ass!!!!!!!!!Yes it DOES!! really....makes me think about "the good old days" With all of my friends together....awwwww I miss them......I even miss Zach..the OLD Zach...ok I'm gonna stop now........

Tuesday Sep 03, 2002

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You know ill be 20 befor I know it and I'm no where in my life that I feel I should be...As hard as I'm trying I feel so stuck....I don't know what to do anymore to find a job that will pay enough for me to move out.... I feel like such a fucking loser right now....

Today will be another hardcore job hunting...
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