its unfortunate that the progress on my essays is non-existent. first of all, i would like to blame my mother (who, by the way, is not only responsible for this but also for everything else thats wrong with the world and in particular, everything that is wrong with my life). secondly, i would like to blame the duty free shop at the cincinatti airport for having the audacity to sell two very large bottles of JD to someone like me. thirdly, i would like to blame my boss (but only because he doesn't pay me enough to have been able to afford 2 very large bottles of the kind of whiskey i really wanted). lastly, i would like to blame the airline for claiming to serve vegetarian food but failing to follow through with such claims.
now that that is settled, i would like to blame 'blame culture' on the americans (and my mother).
moving on to less important things, but slightly more relevant at this moment in time--> i'm back at work today and it appears that in my absence, my little office was somehow transported into tornado alley where apparently it stayed for the entire week while i was away and suffered what must have been more than one very violent tornado. now, i happen to like violence just as much as the next individual, but not at the work place. i would like to label these violent tornados 'boss' and say a few things about him, er...them.
boss is a highly disorganized being.
he has never used a computer.
he does however, use one of those very old fax machines with the rolls of superfine paper--you know the ones. (however, this has ceased since i insisted that we should buy a fax machine that was actually produced within the recent past as opposed to prehistory when we purchased a new copier machine)
boss is also addicted to sending me out to purchase things like single serving size bottles sparkling water and packages of grapes (which MUST be from Marks and Spencers).
boss is also addicted to NEVER giving me enough petty cash.
boss has a tendency to say things like 'i'll be in at 10 tomorrow' and then wander into the office around 3.
boss has a tendency to tell clients 'meet me at 10 tomorrow' but really mean 'meet me at 3 tomorrow'.
boss has a tendency to call me at 10 and ask me to entertain the clients for an hour until he gets there. what he means is 'can you entertain the clients for 5 hours?'
now that i have said that, back to the mess of an office. files are irradically placed about the office and its no wonder that he called me yesterday in a panic about not being able to find one of the said files (which i found today upon entering the office in the filing cabinet where i left it a week ago). and it appears that a very avid beaver or perhaps woodchuck opened the entire weeks worth of post in an ecstatic frenzy as i had to pick up little bits of envelop for quite some time today. and another thing...
or perhaps i shouldn't go on. because i could. for days. but as i've got loads to clean and organize before boss appears to damage more office area, i'll have to retire from my obsessive practice of looking at naked tattooed chics on the internet while at the office. wish me luck friends and if you dont hear from me again soon, expect the worst!
now that that is settled, i would like to blame 'blame culture' on the americans (and my mother).
moving on to less important things, but slightly more relevant at this moment in time--> i'm back at work today and it appears that in my absence, my little office was somehow transported into tornado alley where apparently it stayed for the entire week while i was away and suffered what must have been more than one very violent tornado. now, i happen to like violence just as much as the next individual, but not at the work place. i would like to label these violent tornados 'boss' and say a few things about him, er...them.
boss is a highly disorganized being.
he has never used a computer.
he does however, use one of those very old fax machines with the rolls of superfine paper--you know the ones. (however, this has ceased since i insisted that we should buy a fax machine that was actually produced within the recent past as opposed to prehistory when we purchased a new copier machine)
boss is also addicted to sending me out to purchase things like single serving size bottles sparkling water and packages of grapes (which MUST be from Marks and Spencers).
boss is also addicted to NEVER giving me enough petty cash.
boss has a tendency to say things like 'i'll be in at 10 tomorrow' and then wander into the office around 3.
boss has a tendency to tell clients 'meet me at 10 tomorrow' but really mean 'meet me at 3 tomorrow'.
boss has a tendency to call me at 10 and ask me to entertain the clients for an hour until he gets there. what he means is 'can you entertain the clients for 5 hours?'
now that i have said that, back to the mess of an office. files are irradically placed about the office and its no wonder that he called me yesterday in a panic about not being able to find one of the said files (which i found today upon entering the office in the filing cabinet where i left it a week ago). and it appears that a very avid beaver or perhaps woodchuck opened the entire weeks worth of post in an ecstatic frenzy as i had to pick up little bits of envelop for quite some time today. and another thing...
or perhaps i shouldn't go on. because i could. for days. but as i've got loads to clean and organize before boss appears to damage more office area, i'll have to retire from my obsessive practice of looking at naked tattooed chics on the internet while at the office. wish me luck friends and if you dont hear from me again soon, expect the worst!
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So glad to be back on British soil eh
I haven't yet decided what guns I am getting but my ultimate goal is to sit in a rocking chair on a veranda, polishing a shotgun and occasionally shouting "Get Off My Land" at strangers