Last night was an interseting night for me on some levels. I couldn't find anyone to hang out with, despite me accidently forgetting I was supposed to hangout w/ jollyroger. I was out of herb and was having a really tough time dealing w/ everything I have going on in my life right now. Yes, I'm one who truly believes in self-medication. Well, I ended up at the liqour store, just about to buy another bottle of whisky. I just stood there for a bit...and realized that I do not want to go down that path again. I've had some major issues w/ that in the past, and it hasn't been an issue for me for over 10 years at this point. I put the bottle back down and left. I felt real good about that. I down with drinking every once in awhile, but fuck me starting to drink by myself again. Nope, not going to let that happen. Hippy will be stronger than that!
So, I went home, scraped my bowl, and spent about 2 hours working on my computer and getting things organized. I found a shit load of old pics from after my surgery and what not. I'll upload them later on today or tonight.
I'm getting pretty disappointed in my ex-wife again. For the record, we had a very loving divorce, and have been friends since. We've been able to sit down and talk about people who we are dating or interesting in, and it's been cool. Bottom line is, I jsut need to realize the friendship that I thought we could have, we can't. But shit, when I call up, tell her what's going on and say...I'm fucking drowning and really need to spend some time with the dogs...(she has the dogs, the house, the truck) (fuck I was to nice during the divorce, but that's who I am) I cant belive that she is making it so hard for me to spend time with them. I know she has a hard time when she hears that I'm having health issues again. There's guilt there I'm sure, as one of the main reasons I divorced her was regarding how she dealt with me when I told her I was upset after being told to expect to have a liver transplant sometime in my lifetime. Fuck it....all I know, is that if she ever needed anything, I would be there for her. But that's is not a two way street in the least bit.
Ok, I'm so far behind in work at the moment...
So, I went home, scraped my bowl, and spent about 2 hours working on my computer and getting things organized. I found a shit load of old pics from after my surgery and what not. I'll upload them later on today or tonight.
I'm getting pretty disappointed in my ex-wife again. For the record, we had a very loving divorce, and have been friends since. We've been able to sit down and talk about people who we are dating or interesting in, and it's been cool. Bottom line is, I jsut need to realize the friendship that I thought we could have, we can't. But shit, when I call up, tell her what's going on and say...I'm fucking drowning and really need to spend some time with the dogs...(she has the dogs, the house, the truck) (fuck I was to nice during the divorce, but that's who I am) I cant belive that she is making it so hard for me to spend time with them. I know she has a hard time when she hears that I'm having health issues again. There's guilt there I'm sure, as one of the main reasons I divorced her was regarding how she dealt with me when I told her I was upset after being told to expect to have a liver transplant sometime in my lifetime. Fuck it....all I know, is that if she ever needed anything, I would be there for her. But that's is not a two way street in the least bit.
Ok, I'm so far behind in work at the moment...