rainnskyy19

Well, haven't written in awhile. The love of my life of the past few years just finally made his way back to the country. I was so happy to see him, and then he tells me he is joining the air force. We were so happy to be together, but it makes me wonder if i am really even a thought in his mind for him to decide to voluntarilly go to Iraq to do photojournalism. Maybe i'm being selfish, but i miss him so much. We're not dating right now, but i am just so hurt that he has decided to make this decision. since iam not currently his girlfriend i suppose i have no right to influence his decision apart from being as supportive as possible. I'm tired of being alone, and i deserve to have someone who is there for me. I realize love is not enough. Commitment is. I am getting to that point in my life when i am questioning why did i turn down so many marrige proposals and wonderful men who could have provided what i want the most, security. I think now i value security over love. I am not sure?


I am really lonely and i need to move on. I need someone else.