ragefilledmuffin

Strange day. I found out a former co-worker, who was only 30, died very suddenly yesteday. They think it was a severe asthma attack. I didn't know her very well, but its still scary and tragic. And another former co-worker (who was fired for reasons still not revealed to anyone--it has been a year and a half) apparently has only a week or so to live. Something to do with his heart isn't able to work anymore. He also is only in his mid-thirties and has two little girls. I really hope that one isn't true. I hope they find some way to help him. I knew he had heart problems but I didn't think they were that serious. Its just very odd that both of these happened in the same day.

I am supposed to be at a party right now. I've become so anti-social lately. Part of it is that i live about 7 miles outside of town so driving back and forth sucks. Plus its snowing and freezing cold outside. Dustin is sick so he doesn't want to go and I don't feel like driving back alone. Plus, I have to work tomorrow. I still have a sore throat. I'm tired. I don't want to make my friends mad by not going but......I just suck right now. I'm sick of this lifestyle and I want to get out of here. I'm working on it--I can't really do anything since I have a lease thru Aug. But come summer, I'll be outta here. And hopefully I'll be able to get a better job, one where my degree actually matters. Because you don't even need a high school diploma to do my current job.

I don't care if my birthday sucks. I don't care if no one buys me anything. I don't care that I'll be 25 (well, I don't care much). All I care about is the ice cream cake. Coldstone ice cream cake. And a margarita. Eeeek--those may not mix well. I'll just have to wait a bit between the cake and the margarita.

So I'm thinking of getting a labret. But pierced high up, almost like a lip piercing but with a stud. I wanna wear the cute jeweled monroe jewelry in it. Any opinions on whether this would suit me? How long does it take before the swelling goes away?

My car is fixed. I just have to find the time to go pick it up. I really want a new car. I need to find a better paying job--or a second one. I should really have more money--I am a victim of what financial experts call the latte factor. However, i read an essay on the flip side of that, stating that those little $3 purchases are what make us, us--they make us unique and give meaning to day to day life. Basically, if a $3 coffee or pair of fuzzy socks makes you smile and makes your day brighter, more power to ya. Sure, if you saved $5 a day and invested, you could have thousands of dollars in ten years. But how happy would you be? Huh? How happy?

Even I am not sure what I'm talking about at this point.

Carry on. Don't mind me.