raged44

This is getting lame. First I hve to say nothing... Nothing ot say. I get here to write something and I die. It sucks. I know The other day I was wroking at a rave called organic2. I was managing the jungle room when aI irl I sue to liek came in. I was soo happy to see her. I missed her comming around. I was happy to see her. I realized a while ago she found my live journal and read a post the preceived to be about her. It wasn't and I was embarrassed to admit it. So I never called her to tlel her the post was not about her. So when I saw her I decided it was a good time to say something. She seemed to be okay with it. THen she got kinda agressive about why I was there and why I was still in the scene. no big deal. I figre I am just workingam good at what I do. Finally a random Kandee Kid girl who had helped during set up kame up to and burried her head in my chest because she was tired. She must be around 16, no big deal all kandeekids are almost always young and they are part of the scene.

The girl who I was talking to glared at me. Then told me I had some disease that the guy who brought me into the scene had, that I liked these young kids, and that I was sick.

I feel like shit. I haven't been to a party since. Even hough I am a promoter. It's driving me nuts. I have been loosing sleep over it. I have never really been attract ed to anyone, and well honestly I just keep going to parties becuase its all I have ever done. But really that was his excuse too. Screw it.

I will finsh out this year help my crew get on its feet and fade out. Take a real job and a 401k grow fat and shop at department stores. Thats what I am suppose to do.

it is my curse, my doom. walmart is my future. from wild parties that rivaled the days of the Roman empire to Pizza by the slice, I will have to get new LL Bean friends. Because none of them will ever believe that I was the monster I am today.

hooray for Khakis.