ragdoll96923

edited.

I probably shouldn't have put that in my journal. At the time I didn't know what to do and felt like things needed to come to an end. I've been under alot of stress lately with school, work, court, and thinking about my son.

I get reminded daily at class what a horrible mom I am since I dont have my son. I get reminded daily that I'm not successful and I'm too immature. People don't take the time to get to know me so I shouldn't care about what they say right? well it still hurts. Everybody needs friends and sometimes I feel very alone even though I know I have brighteye here for me (I sometimes take it for granted)

I'm just overwhelmed with everything right now. My life is pretty hectic with this studio opening happen let alone school etc. I don't know how things are going to be I just know that right now I'm not thinking very clearly and I probably wont be until my life is straightened out more than this. A few months atleast.
My struggle with myself has been going on for a few months now (well years really hah!) It's just something I keep inside. Every now in then my fears come to the surface and I don't know how to handle them other than shutting people out and telling them to fuck off. pretty shitty but it's something I'm trying to fix.

thankyou for all your kind words

sorry I brought SG into this.
Sometimes I just need a place to vent... other than when i'm screaming it into my boyfriends head. lol.