Mr. Sanchez and I went for a little walk earlier. When we got back we decided to lay out on the grass for a bit. I'm looking up at the clouds and just thinking about how beautiful the sky looks. The clouds are moving swiftly and it looks almost as if the sky is sort of sucking them up. Next thing I know I feel a cold wet drop of what I thought was water land on my mouth. I look down over and see that Mr. Sanchez has begun to drool all over my face. 
It was a beautiful day.
Mr. Sanchez and I have gotten really close. He's my lil' road dog.
He likes to cuddle with me on the couch when I read a book. We go to the park and play. I mean we play like kids. Rolling in the grass and the sand. We chase each other through the trees. Play hide and seek. It's really awesome. I'm so glad I have a friend in him
I love animals.
I'm trying to eat right but I can't seem to stop eating. I figured out why... I havent been smoking as much.
So now I need to start smoking more. LOL j/k
My weight has been a very touchy subject for me. It has caused my self esteem to go down even more. I love ladies and their bodies but apart of me is still jealous of a beautiful woman. Its hard to not feel jealous or inadequate. It's difficult to have so many personal problems going on and then to not feel pretty enough especially when the one you care about spends all day looking and taking pictures of beautiful women. And it really isn't so much of a trust issue as it is an issue with my low self esteem.
Brighteye calls it the snakes in my head. He's absolutely right. I try so hard to fight them. The voices that tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not smart or pretty enough, I'll never amount to anything, why try, give up etc etc.. but lately they have been consuming me. There is just too much for me to handle right now and I cant do it on my own. I'm glad Brighteye has been there for me. I'm glad my friends from SG have as well Mamabunny, morbidangel,hyppe, dr_zoidberg... and many more.
but manly you brighteye <3
I dont know what I'd do without you. I really really dont. You have helped me with so much. And I know that you really do care... youre not just saying things to shut me up or temporarily fix a problem.
Right now my mind, heart, and soul are having a battle of good and evil and I'm desperately trying to stay atop of it all and fight these snakes.
I know I can do it if I just don't give up!!!
more later..
It was a beautiful day.
Mr. Sanchez and I have gotten really close. He's my lil' road dog.
He likes to cuddle with me on the couch when I read a book. We go to the park and play. I mean we play like kids. Rolling in the grass and the sand. We chase each other through the trees. Play hide and seek. It's really awesome. I'm so glad I have a friend in him
I love animals.
I'm trying to eat right but I can't seem to stop eating. I figured out why... I havent been smoking as much.
So now I need to start smoking more. LOL j/k
My weight has been a very touchy subject for me. It has caused my self esteem to go down even more. I love ladies and their bodies but apart of me is still jealous of a beautiful woman. Its hard to not feel jealous or inadequate. It's difficult to have so many personal problems going on and then to not feel pretty enough especially when the one you care about spends all day looking and taking pictures of beautiful women. And it really isn't so much of a trust issue as it is an issue with my low self esteem.
Brighteye calls it the snakes in my head. He's absolutely right. I try so hard to fight them. The voices that tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not smart or pretty enough, I'll never amount to anything, why try, give up etc etc.. but lately they have been consuming me. There is just too much for me to handle right now and I cant do it on my own. I'm glad Brighteye has been there for me. I'm glad my friends from SG have as well Mamabunny, morbidangel,hyppe, dr_zoidberg... and many more.
but manly you brighteye <3
I dont know what I'd do without you. I really really dont. You have helped me with so much. And I know that you really do care... youre not just saying things to shut me up or temporarily fix a problem.
Right now my mind, heart, and soul are having a battle of good and evil and I'm desperately trying to stay atop of it all and fight these snakes.
I know I can do it if I just don't give up!!!
more later..
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
you are beautiful.
mwah
<3
i also have little voices that tell me i'm not good enough... not pretty enough, etc. well, only one little voice... mine.
i hope you start feeling better about yourself, because, like i said, you are gorgeous!