Wow today was a craptacular day.
I made a total ass out of myself with my boyfriend.
I'm just this big ball of insecurity and paranoia. I'm sure he's figured that one out now. (among many other things)
I really like this guy and I'm not just saying that because the dipshit might be reading this. (term of endearment baby...like when I call my son fat kid.. you know.) Today I was definitely afraid I fucked things up big time. I was definitely less psycho then I usually am when running away from a relationship but it was still pretty bad. It was just the usual stuff a girl does like saying "youre not sexually attracted to me"and "oh yeah well we hardly ever fuck" and "I wasn't exactly spying on you..." HAHAHA oooh it hurts.
So then I say that it would be a good idea if i went back home (you know..the place with the three mexicant's) and then he agreed...which sort of upset me. I mean I agreed with his agreeing but how dare he agree?! hehe
You know when you need to not rush things but you dont want to slow down. It's sort of like heavy foreplay and you almost have it in and then its like "damn". yeah it's like that.
so anyway I forget what else happened with all that because I decided to block it out for now.
but let me tell you (myself i guess) who i talked to today.
My ex's girlfriend. (the one that impregnated me..err the ex not his g.f. though that would be interesting) We had a delightful phone conversation. Oh you know... a little sabotage and scheming. the regular. The bastards gonna pay. If he's not paying child support I'll find another way to make him pay. I had to tell the poor girl what he said to me on the phone so many times the past month. He tried to convince me to come down there and (get this) get a hotel room where he would then come and visit me, fuck me, then let her find out and leave her. Which would be better than just leaving her somehow. what a fucking moron. right buddy. He's missing too many screws. The poor girl is getting cheated on and fucked over every which way from Sunday.
What else have I done with my life?
oh yes!!! I might have a job. which may be a problem since its across from where my boyfriend lives. Seeing as I no longer stay there I probably wont be able to work there. what to do what to do.
Also I have court Monday. damn.
blame it on the white man.
I think that's pretty much it. Came home today. Threw shit at Arthur while he was sleeping. woke him up. Told him how fat and ugly he was multiple times. pelted him in the sack with a phone or something. threw his papers and mail all over the room. told him to "fuck off" and "shut the fuck up". Also I think i farted on his leg.
That's pretty much how I treat him all the time. I could tell he missed me. stupid fuck. He likes the abuse.
I need to find a hobby. It was going to be sex but I guess that ones a no go.
I made a total ass out of myself with my boyfriend.
I'm just this big ball of insecurity and paranoia. I'm sure he's figured that one out now. (among many other things)
I really like this guy and I'm not just saying that because the dipshit might be reading this. (term of endearment baby...like when I call my son fat kid.. you know.) Today I was definitely afraid I fucked things up big time. I was definitely less psycho then I usually am when running away from a relationship but it was still pretty bad. It was just the usual stuff a girl does like saying "youre not sexually attracted to me"and "oh yeah well we hardly ever fuck" and "I wasn't exactly spying on you..." HAHAHA oooh it hurts.
So then I say that it would be a good idea if i went back home (you know..the place with the three mexicant's) and then he agreed...which sort of upset me. I mean I agreed with his agreeing but how dare he agree?! hehe
You know when you need to not rush things but you dont want to slow down. It's sort of like heavy foreplay and you almost have it in and then its like "damn". yeah it's like that.
so anyway I forget what else happened with all that because I decided to block it out for now.
but let me tell you (myself i guess) who i talked to today.
My ex's girlfriend. (the one that impregnated me..err the ex not his g.f. though that would be interesting) We had a delightful phone conversation. Oh you know... a little sabotage and scheming. the regular. The bastards gonna pay. If he's not paying child support I'll find another way to make him pay. I had to tell the poor girl what he said to me on the phone so many times the past month. He tried to convince me to come down there and (get this) get a hotel room where he would then come and visit me, fuck me, then let her find out and leave her. Which would be better than just leaving her somehow. what a fucking moron. right buddy. He's missing too many screws. The poor girl is getting cheated on and fucked over every which way from Sunday.
What else have I done with my life?
oh yes!!! I might have a job. which may be a problem since its across from where my boyfriend lives. Seeing as I no longer stay there I probably wont be able to work there. what to do what to do.
Also I have court Monday. damn.
blame it on the white man.
I think that's pretty much it. Came home today. Threw shit at Arthur while he was sleeping. woke him up. Told him how fat and ugly he was multiple times. pelted him in the sack with a phone or something. threw his papers and mail all over the room. told him to "fuck off" and "shut the fuck up". Also I think i farted on his leg.
That's pretty much how I treat him all the time. I could tell he missed me. stupid fuck. He likes the abuse.
I need to find a hobby. It was going to be sex but I guess that ones a no go.