@rambo @missy
topic - what am i afraid of
..i`m afraid of being disappointed. i don`t usually like depending on other people or asking for help because i`m afraid of people not understanding what i need/want&&doing the wrong thing..thus disappointing me. i guess i just lose faith in people&&things when they don`t meet my expectations&&i start having a negative impression of them. &&i really don`t like having negative impressions of people&&things! i like to like things. so....i guess i`m afraid of being disappointed&&then disliking people/things because they weren`t what i expected them to be.
..i`m afraid of losing things. like even the smallest things. like....a button. or whatever. i don`t know if it`s because i assign sentimental value to things too fast. &&when i lose them..i kind of just break down. like...for example..when my mom gives me something&&i lose it..i would spend days crying over it. or like..one of my ex`s who lives in LA has possession of some of my stuff before we ended things horribly. i sent him $100 to ship all my stuff my back to me..&&it`s been half a year&&i haven`t gotten anything back. &&i sometimes get anxiety over it..but at this point..i keep telling myself that he more than likely pocketed the money&&just threw my shit away&&i should forget about it....but it still clings to the back of my mind...cause it`s me..losing things.
