raellem

One of my bestest friends just broke up with her boyfriend. Im glad she did. Not out of selfishness, but because she didn't need to be with the guy anymore. He had no respect for her or her feelings and what she did. I feel bad for her. Shes really bummed out and not on the up and up. That is, however, to be expected after a permenent break up. They had been on again off again for the past few years and she always told me how it was just so easy to go back to him. At any rate, im just really glad that she found the strenght to go through with it. Way to go baby!

Which brings me to..... I like her. I like her a lot. We almost hooked up last spring when her now permanent ex and her had one of their fallings out. We probably would have had i noticed she was digging on me and not being the totally blind ass that i am. Anyway, she and her ex ended up getting back together again before she left and we just stayed really cool with each other. Now she's back and we work together and we see each other all the time. We both know how we feel about each other and we even discussed it the other night. It was a great talk and we both understand that we need to wait to see what happens. I guess we really needed it considering we had been making out quite a bit like junior high kids throughout the weekend. She's going to need some time to heal anyway and I am more than willing to just be her very good friend for all time, although there is a big part of me that would like to explore the other facet of our relationship. Nothing, no matter how bad it was or is, leaves an easy void when it is over. So patience is going to be key here.

Why am i rambling about this? I guess because this morning my face was burried in between another womans legs, and although my thoughts were on her for 99.99% of the time, there was a moment when i thought about how much i would have liked to have seen my friends face when i was glancing up from my business.....

God dammit im an asshole...