radmobile

I'm coming to the very harsh realization that i have little to no real human contact. Everyday I talk to dozens of people. Shake lots of hands, lots of smiles, thanks and cordiality. Just got out of a 3 year relationship a month ago and I haven't had so much as a hug, a kiss, or a real touch from a person in 3 months. You can do the math on that. If i'm not drinking whiskey at home being reclusive, I'm out trying to act like I know what im doing in public situations. I'm just now starting to have friends that are inviting me out to hang out with them but even then I some how end up drinking on the couch listening to old depressing country songs while they are out talking with other people. I never thought there was a very real need for human contact. I don't really know if I still know how to touch another human being. I am almost scared of it at this point. The only reason i think i came to this realization is there is a girl that seems to have a lot in common with me. She hugs all of her friends. Kisses some on the cheek and i cant even begin to know how good that must feel.

I guess i mean to say i need a hug...