I know for a fact that im am loved here on SG. How do i know this you ask??? It's because i have a line of people ready to hit me in the nards with a barb wired baseball bat. (See last Entry)
I think i might have bi-polar disease or something. I went to a local show tongiht at a friend of a friends house. Music was sweet and the enviroment was rocking. I was having a grand time there listening to some good metal and hardcore music. After the show one of my friends tells me of a party thats going on a few towns over in Blackwood. And naturally my face starts to glisten when i hear the word party
. So i get to the party and i take a look around and realize that i dont know anybody there. It doesnt matter. If i don't know anyone at a party, I can make friends with just about anyone in a snap. Or at least i thought i could. About 5 min in i find myself sitting on a sofa in front of a stereo listeing to some really bad screamo band. I dont know what the deal was but no one wanted to talk with me tonight. I dont know what the deal was but it seemed like everyone knew who i was and its like they were trying to avoid geneeral conversation. Espcially the ladies. Now don't get me wrong. It's not like im trying to sleep with any of the girls at these parties when i first meet them...but if i happen to get a phone number or two i will consider the night to be a success. I would walk up to a group of people and introduce myself and try to include myself on a conversation. But the second i walked up, the conversation would stop dead cold. Everyone knows the feeling that you get when you approach a group of people who were just talking trash about you not 10 seconds prior and there is an awkward silence in the group. Thats what it was like over a period of an hour. And its not like i was being a dick or anything, I was talking about Music, Movies, Books, Guitars, all kinds of shit, and these people just kind of nodded me away. I hope that my de-oderant didnt wear off or something. It felt like i was back in high school all over again.
So i dont know what the deal with tonight was all i know is that i went from having a good weekend to being in the slums for the rest of the night. God i hate being depressed. I dont know what it is but im sure that if i really wanted to i could find some sort of medicine that could treat me but that would change me into something that i dont want. Im not sure who said it, but i believe it was the artist Edvard Munch who once said "I do not wish to be cured of my mental illness, for there is much that I owe to it"
Cheers,
~matt~
Radioactivehead on AIM
I think i might have bi-polar disease or something. I went to a local show tongiht at a friend of a friends house. Music was sweet and the enviroment was rocking. I was having a grand time there listening to some good metal and hardcore music. After the show one of my friends tells me of a party thats going on a few towns over in Blackwood. And naturally my face starts to glisten when i hear the word party
. So i get to the party and i take a look around and realize that i dont know anybody there. It doesnt matter. If i don't know anyone at a party, I can make friends with just about anyone in a snap. Or at least i thought i could. About 5 min in i find myself sitting on a sofa in front of a stereo listeing to some really bad screamo band. I dont know what the deal was but no one wanted to talk with me tonight. I dont know what the deal was but it seemed like everyone knew who i was and its like they were trying to avoid geneeral conversation. Espcially the ladies. Now don't get me wrong. It's not like im trying to sleep with any of the girls at these parties when i first meet them...but if i happen to get a phone number or two i will consider the night to be a success. I would walk up to a group of people and introduce myself and try to include myself on a conversation. But the second i walked up, the conversation would stop dead cold. Everyone knows the feeling that you get when you approach a group of people who were just talking trash about you not 10 seconds prior and there is an awkward silence in the group. Thats what it was like over a period of an hour. And its not like i was being a dick or anything, I was talking about Music, Movies, Books, Guitars, all kinds of shit, and these people just kind of nodded me away. I hope that my de-oderant didnt wear off or something. It felt like i was back in high school all over again.
So i dont know what the deal with tonight was all i know is that i went from having a good weekend to being in the slums for the rest of the night. God i hate being depressed. I dont know what it is but im sure that if i really wanted to i could find some sort of medicine that could treat me but that would change me into something that i dont want. Im not sure who said it, but i believe it was the artist Edvard Munch who once said "I do not wish to be cured of my mental illness, for there is much that I owe to it"
Cheers,
~matt~
Radioactivehead on AIM
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
abyssia:
You pretty much got my take in our conversation. We're not ill, we're different and while it may present unique challenges at times, it also provides us with a sense of individuality and usually, a greater sensitivity to and understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Plus, we can get nifty meds if we want and take or not take 'em as we please!!! Ha! 
In high school, I was the girl in the red chucks with everything else shades of black.... Remember me?
In high school, I was the girl in the red chucks with everything else shades of black.... Remember me? 
bronson:
Nope makes no difference...Sunday's are just my only days off...but I didn't end up doing it anyway