radd

Meh.

So, like, there's this girl I've been completely in love with for the better part of a year. We were like best friends for the better part of a year before I came to this conclusion. Anyways, by the time I'd realized it, she'd jumped into a relationship with someone.She'd just jumped out of one relationship imeadiately into another before I'd moved out here, and she jumped into this one just as quickly. Anyways, not wanting to complicate things I didn't say anything. Just continued to be her best friend and even tried to keep their relationship together when it first got rocky (wich only made me feel even more miserable when her girlfriend thought I was trying to steal her away from her). Well, it eventually did fall apart but I still wasn't going to say anything, despite the fact that everyone pretty much knew already, because I figured people really ought to not jump right into something else right after breaking up. Jumping headfirst into something without having just broken up is generally a bad idea. But she asked me to be her roomate when she moves out to California.

Not wanting to put myself into the position of living with a girl that has no real interest in me but I'm completely crazy about, I decided to just tell her outright. She said she understands but wasn't completely counting me out, wich gave me some hope for the future, since she isn't moving for at least 6 months.

She'd been mentioning this other person a lot over the past few weeks, someone they hadn't ever really talked about before, so I figured I'd ask about it before getting my hopes up any more than they have been for ages. Turned out, she's interested in like several other people and already wanting to get into a serious relationship with someone else even though she only broke up with her previous girlfriend a day or two before. I mean, things had been pretty much dead for months, but still...

So anyways, I'm envious and depressed, but still hopeful because while talking to her she basically tells me I'm not completely counted out. I'm not entirely certain how to take that.

I guess I'll just see where things go. I don't hide the fact that I don't think she should hop imeadiately into a serious relationship with anyone, myself included. I especially don't think it's a good idea to jump into a relationship with someone you only really know online. I don't think something like that just can't work, but I think you should get to know someone in the really real world for a good long time first before jumping to the conclusion that you're in love with them.

So, in conclusion, I expect the next few months to be nothing but pain for me. I know what I'm getting into, but I can't really change how I feel by flicking a switch or something, and that's probably the worst/funniest thing about it all.


Ah well. I suppose everyone's entitled to some highschool-esque drama every now and then. At least I won't be suprised.