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r3x

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Member Since 2008

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Thursday Oct 02, 2008

Oct 2, 2008
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The Kleptones - Casbah Ain't Easy and Closer To The Boxer
*think of them as a two-part song*

Most of you don't know that I'm a student of all things arcane/occult/mythical/metaphysical. surreal

I wouldn't claim that I adhere to any tradition or code or whatever... I just like to keep an open mind and attempt to comprehend what's not so well-received in mainstream society. One of those things - although commonplace yet not taken so seriously - is astrology. I've liked it since I was a kid; it's fun to go through and see just how accurate it is every now and then... or how compatible you are with a certain someone! oOoOo!



Anyways, since this is Suicide Girls and sex sells, I figure I'd share my SEXTROLOGY results here. Yes. Sextrology. A fairly popular book that gives you the (alleged) 411 on your celestially-influenced loins! So yeah. Here be me. Cancer Man. ...my commentary is in bold...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Of any man, he is the premier softie, loving to kiss, hug, spoon, and moon (fuck. i guess there's no getting out of that.). He needs that showering of cuddly mother love as much as getting his rocks off. On that score, nothing imparts more of a pure erotic thrill than letting an energetic top woman have her way with him (this is true), boobs bouncing, as she barks imperatives and instructions. In fact, very little in Cancers man's vision of worthwhile sex doesn't include breasts in one way or another (all right... i like 'em. yet ass is forever!). He is the zodiac's preeminent tittie fucker (O RLY???), and most of his sexual fantasies involve big bosomed babes in the proverbial pole position.

He is anything but squeamish when faced with a partner's outpourings, a proclivity that may easily extend to the peepee department (penis peepee or PISS peepee?). As well, he's way up for anal sex (NO PUN INTENDED); though if his mate flashes a red flag, he is fine with forgoing it. Of course, he loves being blown - what man doesn't (i don't care about what other men think. just suck it.)? But for him the act imparts a particularly soothing and secure, pacifying sensation (a... reverse pacifier?).

He can be fairly kinky in his makeup; especially where his love for a dominant woman drives him to the extreme. For the most part, however, the Crab rarely acts on his more intricate fantasies. He seems designed to propagate, parent, provide and protect. Cancer will typically immerse himself in that household reality, focusing on his primal needs to be the pristine husband, the unadulterated consort, regularly coddling, cooing, and conceiving with his woman (fuck that 'family guy' shit).

Just as he is almost pathologically intrigued by those de rigueur female bodily functions - if any man would think nothing of having sex with his woman when, for instance, she's not quite finished with her period, it's the Cancer man (THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING). Likewise, he is all over his mate when she's pregnant (wtf?!). The Crab has a the distinct sexual habit of sneaking in when his woman least expects it (peek-a-boo!). One would be hard pressed to find a longtime partner of the Cancer man who hasn't actually awoken to his slowly shagging her, the actual experience being subtly woven into her dreamscape (i do have a way with words. and fucking, it seems).

Cancer Man Turn-Ons
Aggressive Women
Nordic, Germanic Types
Tall Women
Big Breasts, Implants
Kissing, Licking, Sucking
(active) oral miao!!
(active/passive) discipline
Titty-fucking
Waitresses, Flight Attendants
(active) anal sex ARRR!!!
Submission Fantasies
Strippers, Porn Stars
Pregnancy, Lactation puke
Schoolgirls
Shaved, Waxed Genitals love
(passive) bondage
Leather, Biker Chicks
(passive) golden showers skull
Cuddling, Spooning
Home Porn smile
Crops, Whips
Nymphomaniacs oink
Dominatrixes



Naturally, this segment wouldn't be complete without a blurb about my compatibility with others!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Cancer Man/Aries Woman - The attraction is subtle -- less physically felt, rather more subconscious. Their pairing is antidotal -- an emotional cure for past pain. He provides the support she's sought. Sex exorcises ex-lovers.

Cancer Man/Taurus Woman - She's his fantasy in the flesh -- all soft skin wrapped in a fuzzy pastel sweater. She knows his placid nature is a pose, and that extraordinary experiences await. In bed, it's titillation and tenderness in equal measure.

Cancer Man/Gemini Woman - Typically passive, he pursues her anyway -- Gemini's impish appeal makes him behave surprisingly, even shockingly. The crab appears the ultimate catch -- charismatic, clever. In bed, it's a mixed bag. A mess if she's moody.

Cancer Man/Cancer Woman - Two Moon-ruled souls share a rare and rarefied emotional and sexual connection. They seem to live on their love alone. At home, everything looks a wreck; but chaos is comforting. Bed is a safety zone where everything goes.

Cancer Man/Leo Woman - He's clever and commanding; she confidently holds court. They're meticulous about career matters. Self-concerns are joyfully sacrificed for the common good. Sexually, Leo tried tenderness; Cancer takes it up a notch.

Cancer Man/Virgo Woman - They become fast friends. Together, they manage stresses. Life has a flow. She's happy to stay at home; Cancer softens into professional success. As they crave each other completely, too much sex is never enough.

Cancer Man/Libra Woman - He's that rare "regular" guy; she seems, at first too perfunctory a personage. Relating requires tolerance. At best, they're harmonious and hilarious. Sex eases tensions. Cancer's passive so Libra has the power.

Cancer Man/Scorpio Woman - Cancer requires mothering; Scorpio's a cunning caretaker. Together, they cultivate a snug coexistance. Prosperity and progeny are anticipated. In bed, it's all-out eroticism. But mum's the word.

Cancer Man/Sagittarius Woman - She unpredictable, something he's unequipped to handle. Sexually, she falls into a category: fantasy fling. They share a soulful ideology. She uses sex to hasten his affections. In bed, he'll feel like James Bond.

Cancer Man/Capricorn Woman - He's the Eagle Scout of her dreams; she's that perfect, post-modern beauty. These astro-opposites are often ideal counterparts; easily finding a comfortable, confident middle way. Sex is a slow process of chipping away at constraints.

Cancer Man/Aquarius Woman - She's his wake-up call. He's less of an epiphany; more of a reality check -- a sign it's time to get serious. They're an ideological society of two; living an inspired life. Sex is transformative -- a step up for him, an enhancement for her.

Cancer Man/Pisces Woman - Two sensitive souls with acutely creative spirits. With him, she delves into a focus, inching closer to goals. He breaks through lingering emotional limitations. The bed is their messy center of activity.



So. Who wants some?!
By the way, I happened to buy a new pair of boxer briefs...



At least the Cancer sextrology was on point about the reverse pacifier deal... biggrin

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
kellymonster:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Cancer Man/Libra Woman - He's that rare "regular" guy; she seems, at first too perfunctory a personage. Relating requires tolerance. At best, they're harmonious and hilarious. Sex eases tensions. Cancer's passive so Libra has the power.



Sounds like my kinda relationship.

It's reassuring that you don't like lactation of period fucking.

Oct 3, 2008
kellymonster:
Don't be worried, I think I may have peaked. Yesterday was the awesome and I'll be blogging about it in due course (I think).

I see a typo in my comment above and now I'm creating some fucked up mental imagery of 'lactation of period fucking'. Be glad you are not in my brain right now.
Oct 4, 2008

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