Well, after having missed a lot of sleep and doing a lot of thinking, things are a bit more clear to me.. My brother has made it very clear that he is by no means ready to get help or even try to be responsible. He finaly called me and asked if I could lend him $300, which I refused knowing that he would immediately go and smoke it. While all of this was going on, I got a phone call telling me that my sister's ex just died from smoking so much crack that his heart gave out!
I told my brother about this and he just laughed! It's hard when you know what someone is getting into and they just refuse to see it... I've been through it before with my AA sponsees and other friends that I've tried to help, but it's much more difficult when it's family..
I've now missed close to a week of work and lost a good client while trying to find, and talk some sense into my brother. Yes, it was stupid to blow off so much responsibility and lose close to $20,000 in doing so, but I don't give a shit! I had to try! I just got done hearing a ration of shit from several friends about this, but again.. I don't give a shit! I've lost everything and started over with nothing 3 times in my life, I've been through shit that most people my age have never even thought about, let alone experienced, so I could care less about losing some work and some money! I've always been a survivor, I just wish I could teach my brother how to do the same.
I had a good friend of mine tell me that the only reason I'm trying so hard to help him is because of the guilt I feel about not being around for him the last six years.. I suppose that has something to do with it, but either way.. I feel partialy responsible for him because no one else gives a damn about him. He still has a major chip on his shoulder about my dad and the fact that he was never there for him and still refuses to be. I once felt the same way, so I understand, but there comes a point in time that you just have to accept it and move on. I wish he would stick around long enough to let me talk to him about it.. I've tried to explain it to him before, but he just won't listen. I learned a long time ago that my dad just wasn't capable of being a father, it hurt for a long time, but I grew to accept it and I moved on. It's no excuse to be a miserable drunk or a drug addict, besides... booze and drugs never helped me get to the root cause of the problem anyway, they treated the syptoms, but when I came out of my blackout or woke up the next morning, or whatever.. I still had the same problems and maybe a few more because of this shit I did the night before! It's no way to live!
I've said all this and more to him on many occasions, but when I bring it up he changes the subject or tries to make excuses... Everybody tells me to let it go, to let him do what he's going to do.. FUCK YOU! that's easier said than done when it's family!
Well, it's getting late and I haven't eaten yet. Maybe I'll feel better after I eat something..
I told my brother about this and he just laughed! It's hard when you know what someone is getting into and they just refuse to see it... I've been through it before with my AA sponsees and other friends that I've tried to help, but it's much more difficult when it's family..
I've now missed close to a week of work and lost a good client while trying to find, and talk some sense into my brother. Yes, it was stupid to blow off so much responsibility and lose close to $20,000 in doing so, but I don't give a shit! I had to try! I just got done hearing a ration of shit from several friends about this, but again.. I don't give a shit! I've lost everything and started over with nothing 3 times in my life, I've been through shit that most people my age have never even thought about, let alone experienced, so I could care less about losing some work and some money! I've always been a survivor, I just wish I could teach my brother how to do the same.
I had a good friend of mine tell me that the only reason I'm trying so hard to help him is because of the guilt I feel about not being around for him the last six years.. I suppose that has something to do with it, but either way.. I feel partialy responsible for him because no one else gives a damn about him. He still has a major chip on his shoulder about my dad and the fact that he was never there for him and still refuses to be. I once felt the same way, so I understand, but there comes a point in time that you just have to accept it and move on. I wish he would stick around long enough to let me talk to him about it.. I've tried to explain it to him before, but he just won't listen. I learned a long time ago that my dad just wasn't capable of being a father, it hurt for a long time, but I grew to accept it and I moved on. It's no excuse to be a miserable drunk or a drug addict, besides... booze and drugs never helped me get to the root cause of the problem anyway, they treated the syptoms, but when I came out of my blackout or woke up the next morning, or whatever.. I still had the same problems and maybe a few more because of this shit I did the night before! It's no way to live!
I've said all this and more to him on many occasions, but when I bring it up he changes the subject or tries to make excuses... Everybody tells me to let it go, to let him do what he's going to do.. FUCK YOU! that's easier said than done when it's family!
Well, it's getting late and I haven't eaten yet. Maybe I'll feel better after I eat something..