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r0nin47

Chicago IL.

Member Since 2004

Followers 6 Following 76

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Tuesday Jul 19, 2005

Jul 19, 2005
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AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... now that that's out of the way... Really tho.. I have had 2 of the most stressful days I've ever fucking had in my life! I was working until 7 this morning on a clients website just so I could collect a progress payment. Said client insisted on askinf me to change every little detail repeatedly for at least 6 hours after I was finished with the FOURTH revision of the site!! WTF DUDE!! I thought I was a perfectionist, but this is ridiculous! When I was finaly done, I sent him an invoice and passed the fuck out for a few hours, only to be awakened 3 hours later by my cat who I forgot to feed last night.

So I am running on very little sleep, plenty of stress, and I looked at my accounts receivable this morning and wanted to cry.. we're up to 11k! Time to start pestering the clients who owe me.

Anyway.. enough about work.. while it is the lead cause of my stress at this moment, it is not the only cause.. Actualy.. I think the main cause is the fact that I'm just tired of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to manage a company that's grown too damn much for it's own good, while also trying to have some kind of a personal life.. It ain't fuckin workin! I'm tired all the time, I'm cranky all the time.. well.. when I'm not depressed.. anyway.. you get the idea.. Something needs to change ASAFUCKINGP! I woke up this morning and wanted to down a bottle of jack daniels just to face the day.. The problem with that is it doesn't even work anymore! That's why I'm a recovering alcoholic.

So last night a friend of mine from NYC came out here so I could fix her computer. Said friend is also a recovering alcoholic, who I helped when she was at day one. She seemed like she was doing way better than I was! WTF!! I'm not talking materialy or any of that shit, I'm talking emotionaly.. She's having some tough times of her own, but she seems to be dealing with it far better than I have been.. This made me very pissed of at myself. Mostly because I'm the one who's supposed to have been a good example and I've been anything BUT a good example..

Nothing like having yet another reminder that your life is fucked up at you need to change things ASAP.. Where's that damn bucket of sand so I can stick my head back in it?!?
kyleomen:
You need some help my friend. Hire some bitches to do your dirty work.
Jul 19, 2005

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