Is this as good as it gets.. I have been asking myself this question over and over throughout the last few months. It has to get better than this.. otherwise what's the point?!? I came to one of those stunning realizations today after having spent most of last night and all of today working on a website for a complete pain in the ass client. I'm spending all my time foolishly chasing the dollar.. I'm working way too much when I don't really have to because it takes my mind off the things I don't want to face.. I'm still running from something, just not using booze to do it like before. Why am I still running?!?! I haven't a fucking clue! I don't even know what it is I'm afraid of.. Ok.. that's a lie.. I don't want to ADMIT what I'm afraid of because I know how fucking silly it is! I'm afraid of letting anyone in after what happened with my last relationship, so I make my business my whole life and then I come home and sit in front of a fucking computer till I pass out at 5:30AM and do it all over again! Sounds a lot like what I did with booze.. I used it as an escape, just like I'm now using work. What will I do to change this?
I don't know.. It's like I have the desire to be around people, but I don't.. In the last week, I've avoided just about everyone, spent 90% of my time in the house working on clients websites, haven't taken care of myself at all, eat maybe once a day, and smoked too many goddamn cigarettes!
I have however, spent a lot of time with my poor neglected cat, who I like more than most people right now. I often wish I had as simple a life as he does.. You know what the difference between cats and dogs is? Well.. dogs think that because humans feed them and care for them that humans are gods, therefore dogs are very loyal. Cats on the other hand.. they seem to think that since humans feed them, clean their litterbox, and take care of them, THEY are gods and we exist solely to take care of them. Have you ever noticed how cats do things out of revenge when we neglect them? Ummm.. ok.. I digress..
I really need to do something different.. Not working so much would probably be a very good start.
I don't know.. It's like I have the desire to be around people, but I don't.. In the last week, I've avoided just about everyone, spent 90% of my time in the house working on clients websites, haven't taken care of myself at all, eat maybe once a day, and smoked too many goddamn cigarettes!
I have however, spent a lot of time with my poor neglected cat, who I like more than most people right now. I often wish I had as simple a life as he does.. You know what the difference between cats and dogs is? Well.. dogs think that because humans feed them and care for them that humans are gods, therefore dogs are very loyal. Cats on the other hand.. they seem to think that since humans feed them, clean their litterbox, and take care of them, THEY are gods and we exist solely to take care of them. Have you ever noticed how cats do things out of revenge when we neglect them? Ummm.. ok.. I digress..
I really need to do something different.. Not working so much would probably be a very good start.
alabama:
ewww rad! if i ever had a shirt like that i would sport that everywhere!!!
oldsarge:
you need to get laid, not married, laid-pray on it, God always gives us what we need-great about the no booze, that really will help, you just don';t know how much yet-hang in there-say hi to the cat for me- 