I'm almost happy that tomorrow is Monday.. I think I had way too much time on my hands this last week, especially the last couple days. I need to spend sometime in Manhattan this week, I need to get out of here! I've decided to just schedule as much work in NYC as I possible can this week so that I can spend almost the entire week there.
I need to move as soon as I can.. I'm tired of having this huge house all to myself. I realized this week, why I've tried to stay so busy these last few months.. The more busy I am, the less time I spend here.. the less time I spend here, the less time I have to stay up in my head! I've learned a valuable lesson in the last few months.. Having this house and all the crap in it.. no matter how much money or how much stuff I have, it's not what will make me happy..
I sometimes wish I could go back to the way I lived just a few years ago.. Living in a small 2 bedroom apartment on south street with my best friend and my cat, not running around like a madman all the time. I had just started my company and only had a few clients, no real headaches! I had just enough to pay the bills and have a little fun. Seems like I spent a lot of time having fun back then! I really miss those days.. Now it seems like all I ever do is work and worry about shit that I shouldn't even have to worry about! All because a year ago I decided to give up my nice simple life and start a new life with my ex gf. This house was never my idea.. Living out here was never my idea.. I did it because I wanted to make her happy. I thought it would just work out, but I was wrong. So she left months ago and I've been sitting here with this house, wondering what the hell happened.. how did I get here?!?!
I guess I thought I'd just live with it and move on, but I really hate being here! This place just makes me miserable.. It's like everywhere I look, there's a reminder of what went wrong. I know it sounds stupid, but it's really starting to get to me. I think I just need to get out.
Well, I'm off to find something more productive to do.
I need to move as soon as I can.. I'm tired of having this huge house all to myself. I realized this week, why I've tried to stay so busy these last few months.. The more busy I am, the less time I spend here.. the less time I spend here, the less time I have to stay up in my head! I've learned a valuable lesson in the last few months.. Having this house and all the crap in it.. no matter how much money or how much stuff I have, it's not what will make me happy..
I sometimes wish I could go back to the way I lived just a few years ago.. Living in a small 2 bedroom apartment on south street with my best friend and my cat, not running around like a madman all the time. I had just started my company and only had a few clients, no real headaches! I had just enough to pay the bills and have a little fun. Seems like I spent a lot of time having fun back then! I really miss those days.. Now it seems like all I ever do is work and worry about shit that I shouldn't even have to worry about! All because a year ago I decided to give up my nice simple life and start a new life with my ex gf. This house was never my idea.. Living out here was never my idea.. I did it because I wanted to make her happy. I thought it would just work out, but I was wrong. So she left months ago and I've been sitting here with this house, wondering what the hell happened.. how did I get here?!?!
I guess I thought I'd just live with it and move on, but I really hate being here! This place just makes me miserable.. It's like everywhere I look, there's a reminder of what went wrong. I know it sounds stupid, but it's really starting to get to me. I think I just need to get out.
Well, I'm off to find something more productive to do.