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r0nin47

Chicago IL.

Member Since 2004

Followers 6 Following 76

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Monday Mar 07, 2005

Mar 6, 2005
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What a weekend! I haven't slept more than 5 hours since Friday night. Went out with friends and spent the night downtown Friday night. Saturday night on my way back downtown, I get a call from an associate in NYC.. Turns out the idiot electricain blew up the clients light touch system, so that means another 40 hours of work in manhattan! I get downtown to my friends house and his roommate asks me to look at her computer after she broke it again! I had just spent 7 hours rebuilding it a couple nights before! If there is one thing I can't stand, it's bending over backwards for people who give you nothing but grief! This weekend has been full of that.. And bad news... My vacation is not going to happen anytime soon due to the current situation in manhattan. I'm being pulled in 50 directions right now and I'm fucking tired of it! I haven't taken any real time for myself in over a year. I'm always taking care of everybody else when I should be taking care of me. Yes, I am very bitter right now! I'm sick of most of my ungrateful friends and I'm sick of this company I started that I've made my entire life for over 2 years now.

It's almost 4AM and I can't sleep because I can't stop wondering where the last 2 years of my life have gone.. Other than money, I really don't have much to show for the last 2 years. I've spent most of my time either working or bending over backwards for people who don't appreciate it. My business has become successful, but at the cost of nearly all my time and energy... Could my last relationship have worked if had had spent less time at work? Would she and I still be together and happy?? These are the things I can't stop thinking about... I hate thinking about what could have been, it's never made things any better.. It's just where my head automatically goes when I'm feeling like this.

Part of me wants to just hand the 2 current clients over to someone else and take off, but that's not being responsible... I don't know what to do. I'm just going fucking crazy this weekend.

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