finally got out of bed yesterday after 2.5 days and went out promptly to get drunk. i needed that. now i need to find a job. just taking baby steps. and i think i may have someone intrested in my dog so that is good. need to give her a new home. talked to jesse last night and today and he's in about as good a shape as i am emotionally. can't say i wasn't jealous though listening to him talk about his plans for the future cause he at least has some. and i know he can do it. but he is not happy about his decision about us. he thought it would make him happy instantly but he just feels more alone. i wish i could just hit rewind and go back to when we 1st fell in love. it was so nice to just sit there and reminisce with him about the good old days. fuck- why do things have to change?!
dulcemara:
Because nothing ever seems to stay the same as hard as you want it to. Just look at it this way, at least you weren't the one who fucked it up. At least you didn't lie to him and make tons of mistakes. That is a much harder thing to deal with. Trust me, I know. Things will get better eventually. But it could take alot of time too. I got your message this morning, and I will give you a call here in a little bit ok hun? Talk to you soon.