quietantrum

not much new going on really. haven't updated in a while cause theres not much to say really. still working 6 days aweek. been trying to go out some tho and just keep in touch with ppl more. went out the other night with a friend from work for a girls night out which was a blast while jesse did the same for a guys night out. he got all mt st helensie on me awhile ago and considered breaking up with me. he feels that i don't listen to what he says and i don't take things to heart which i should. i really am horrible to him and i am scared to death that he will do exactly what i did in my last long term relationship and wait till the breaking point and then leave, i don't even know what would become of me withoutr him but i would totally understand and not blame him if thats what it would take for him to be happy again. but i know mostly what is wrong and it is up to me to change things for the better. after that whole thing i got him this really pretty fall bouquet and had it waiting for him at work with a sappy card. he never said anything about it which kinda pisses me off cause his excuse for not doing sweet things like that for me is that i don't seem appreciative enough in the way i thank him-and he didn't even mention it! oh well tho. i got a new book to read called Opening to Channel, which is a guide on how to contact your spiritual guide through going into a trance and stuff like that. i can't say that i honestly believe all of it but in a way its like how i feel about the bible- theres parts that i do believe and parts that inspire me and that i want to apply to my life. its most weird tho. in fact, about half of the book is written by "Orin and DaBen" which are the guides of the authors. so high spiritual beings told these ppl to write this book. so anyway, ran out of things to say. i miss travi$. he is doing well for himself in cali tho and hopefully will move back eventually.