Okay, heres the situation, my parents went away for 1 weeks vacation..Wait, stop, what the hell was that, oh that was me busting in to my fresh prince impersonation....
So today went good, Just another day at work, it was nice, we werent slammed like we have been, and I didnt have to worry about leaving, and my bosses being there for hours, cause there was still freight to check in.
After I got off work, I was sitting outside, waiting for the bus, and I saw a DAC Freight truck, they were the old company that used to deliver my shipments at my store in Breckenridge, and it got me to thinking, I was wondering if it was my old driver in the truck, and how he was doing, and then, I could see clearly, our conversations that we used to have, while he dropped off my boxes, and how I would arrange them in my tiny little back room, and check them in.
This whole train of thought hit me like a ton of bricks, I realized how much I missed my little store, and living in the mountains. That fucking store was my life for a year, it was a partial cause for my breakup with my ex, it was a pain in my ass for the first 4 months, it was small, had a wonderful fucking view of the mountains from the door,and windows, and GOD DAMNIT, IT WAS MINE!!!!!! I put my heart and fucking soul into that store, treated it like I owned it, and you know what, I lost it all, cause Bestbuy corp sucks ass....LOL
Basically what it comes down too, is that I miss that time in my life, even though I really didnt think that I did, I had the #1 store in the country, and you now what, I wouldnt trade anything in the world for the experience.
The sad thing is though, the guy who drove the truck, that delivered my shipment, to this day, I cant remember his name, I talked to him once a week, for almost a year, and I cant remember it, couldnt then either, and we had some great conversations, although, he'd talk my fucking ear off if I let him..
There is this site, called
conversation with god that is pretty interesting. I havent watched the entire movie yet, but one of the questions that this person asks god, is, what surprises you most about humans and god replies, "that when they are a child, they spend all there time wanting to be an adult, and when they reach adulthood, they want to be a child again. The same goes for us dwelling on the past, well they go hand in hand I suppose. When I was younger, say, right out of HS, I couldnt stop thinking about the past, it was always in the back of my mind, its really amazing how much time, and how many years I spent dwelling on my life back then, but now, Ive gotten to the point, where dwelling on the past doesnt do it for me anymore, I mean there are days, like today, where I think about my past, not really dwell, just sit back, and remember the time sthat I have had, doing whatnot, and it amazes me, that for some of the experiences that I have had, I dreaded then, but miss them now..
When I got home today, I hade an email from classmates.com, telling me that and old friend was trying to get in touch with me, now her name is Amanda, and Ill give you some background on her.
Amanda was the quintessential hotty, Im talking model quality, personality and all. The first day that I met her, was in science class in 10th grade, and I tell you what, she was the shit! We hit it off right away, I remember her chasing me around the classroom, cause I smacked her ass, after she told me not too..LOL
Anyways, in 11th grade, she started dating my friend Shawn, they ended up falling in love, and whatnot, all of us were friends, thick as thieves I might add, but Amanda was a true friend back then, and nothing more.
After gratuation, I moved away from Hollywood for a bit, but ended up back in LA after about a year, cause I couldnt stand living with my mom anymore, and needed to get out of the house and on my own.
When I first moved back, I lived with my oldest friend Carrie for about 4 months, before we got on each others nerves so much, that I had to move out, well, me and Amanda had been talking, and I decided to move in with her, and her current boyfriend Don. Her and Shawn had broken up the last couple months of the school year, the year before, and she had been with Don for a while, he used to be a driver for my mom, and so I knew him too.
I moved in with them in February of 95,and right away, I could tell that things between them 2 werent that great, see Don was almost 10 years older then Amanda, and although the relationship was good for a long time, it started to crumble right around the time I moved in.
I didnt see alot of this at the time, looking back, things are alot clearer, and I can actually see them for what they were.
It all started as an innocent backrub, one night, turned into 2, 2 into 3, and so on, the backrubs turned into teasing, teasing turned into kissing, I could go on, but you get the picture. Basically, we started seeing each other behind Dons back, and to this day, Im posotive that he knew, but didnt care.
She took my virgintiy not too long after this started happening, well not took it, I gave it to her freely, hell, who wouldnt, I mean, here was me, fucking this hottie, who was at the time, my closest friend, and confidant.
We worked together, lived together, played together, hell, you can guess what happened next, I fell in love.
At some point we moved out of Dons house, and into this little one bedroom in Venice, for a month or so, maybe 2, it was really cool, having a place on our own and what not, up until things started falling apart, Icant say when it began to happen, but at some point I realized that she didnt love me, well not like I loved her, and you know, it started to hurt like hell, I became depressed, moody, sad, you know the emotions that you go through, and the most fucked up thing about it all, was that I had to sleep in the same bed as her, and see her everyday, and she acted like nothing was wrong, and that nothing was going on.
I think that being forced to deal with the issue at hand, everyday, made it easier to get over it in the end, see one night I went out with some friends, and when I got home, there she was, almost asleep, ont he floor in the living room, with this guy next to her. I walked in, looked down, and in the best sarcastic vicious voice that I could muster, "Oh, do you want me to leave?"
and after she said no, I walked into the bedroom, brushed my teeth, undressed, got into bed, and slept better than I had in months.
It was over, well most of it anyways, I no longer got up every morning feeling like shit, I could laugh again, feel myself again, be human again, and thats all that counts.
I moved out of the apartment, and back here to Colorado, shortly there after. Out of it all, I got my father back into my life, I knew him, but didnt become close to him, until all of this went down, and for that, I will always be grateful for, I learned that you can forgive, and forget, and move on.
We have kept in touch through out the years, she has a kid, and is married, and I just found out today that she moved to Florida last year, and I have to say, that although she used to be a flake, and that I was a rebound, of a rebound, and that I had made the decision not to talk to her until she contacted me in 2002, Im looking forward to our conversations, and to catch up on our lives.
I think that to date that this is my longest entry, obviously, I had alot to say, and I thank you all for bearing with my ramblings, and having the patience to read it all, and for those of you who didnt, you wont see this, but I understand, and dont hold it against you...LOL
Cheers all, Much love!
Jeremy
Just a little to this entry, I have been watching survivor off and on, this season, mostly the last month or so, and in the beginning, I thought that Matt was a freak, possibly a psycho, well now, I hope that he wins! LOL
So today went good, Just another day at work, it was nice, we werent slammed like we have been, and I didnt have to worry about leaving, and my bosses being there for hours, cause there was still freight to check in.
After I got off work, I was sitting outside, waiting for the bus, and I saw a DAC Freight truck, they were the old company that used to deliver my shipments at my store in Breckenridge, and it got me to thinking, I was wondering if it was my old driver in the truck, and how he was doing, and then, I could see clearly, our conversations that we used to have, while he dropped off my boxes, and how I would arrange them in my tiny little back room, and check them in.
This whole train of thought hit me like a ton of bricks, I realized how much I missed my little store, and living in the mountains. That fucking store was my life for a year, it was a partial cause for my breakup with my ex, it was a pain in my ass for the first 4 months, it was small, had a wonderful fucking view of the mountains from the door,and windows, and GOD DAMNIT, IT WAS MINE!!!!!! I put my heart and fucking soul into that store, treated it like I owned it, and you know what, I lost it all, cause Bestbuy corp sucks ass....LOL
Basically what it comes down too, is that I miss that time in my life, even though I really didnt think that I did, I had the #1 store in the country, and you now what, I wouldnt trade anything in the world for the experience.
The sad thing is though, the guy who drove the truck, that delivered my shipment, to this day, I cant remember his name, I talked to him once a week, for almost a year, and I cant remember it, couldnt then either, and we had some great conversations, although, he'd talk my fucking ear off if I let him..
There is this site, called
conversation with god that is pretty interesting. I havent watched the entire movie yet, but one of the questions that this person asks god, is, what surprises you most about humans and god replies, "that when they are a child, they spend all there time wanting to be an adult, and when they reach adulthood, they want to be a child again. The same goes for us dwelling on the past, well they go hand in hand I suppose. When I was younger, say, right out of HS, I couldnt stop thinking about the past, it was always in the back of my mind, its really amazing how much time, and how many years I spent dwelling on my life back then, but now, Ive gotten to the point, where dwelling on the past doesnt do it for me anymore, I mean there are days, like today, where I think about my past, not really dwell, just sit back, and remember the time sthat I have had, doing whatnot, and it amazes me, that for some of the experiences that I have had, I dreaded then, but miss them now..
When I got home today, I hade an email from classmates.com, telling me that and old friend was trying to get in touch with me, now her name is Amanda, and Ill give you some background on her.
Amanda was the quintessential hotty, Im talking model quality, personality and all. The first day that I met her, was in science class in 10th grade, and I tell you what, she was the shit! We hit it off right away, I remember her chasing me around the classroom, cause I smacked her ass, after she told me not too..LOL
Anyways, in 11th grade, she started dating my friend Shawn, they ended up falling in love, and whatnot, all of us were friends, thick as thieves I might add, but Amanda was a true friend back then, and nothing more.
After gratuation, I moved away from Hollywood for a bit, but ended up back in LA after about a year, cause I couldnt stand living with my mom anymore, and needed to get out of the house and on my own.
When I first moved back, I lived with my oldest friend Carrie for about 4 months, before we got on each others nerves so much, that I had to move out, well, me and Amanda had been talking, and I decided to move in with her, and her current boyfriend Don. Her and Shawn had broken up the last couple months of the school year, the year before, and she had been with Don for a while, he used to be a driver for my mom, and so I knew him too.
I moved in with them in February of 95,and right away, I could tell that things between them 2 werent that great, see Don was almost 10 years older then Amanda, and although the relationship was good for a long time, it started to crumble right around the time I moved in.
I didnt see alot of this at the time, looking back, things are alot clearer, and I can actually see them for what they were.
It all started as an innocent backrub, one night, turned into 2, 2 into 3, and so on, the backrubs turned into teasing, teasing turned into kissing, I could go on, but you get the picture. Basically, we started seeing each other behind Dons back, and to this day, Im posotive that he knew, but didnt care.
She took my virgintiy not too long after this started happening, well not took it, I gave it to her freely, hell, who wouldnt, I mean, here was me, fucking this hottie, who was at the time, my closest friend, and confidant.
We worked together, lived together, played together, hell, you can guess what happened next, I fell in love.
At some point we moved out of Dons house, and into this little one bedroom in Venice, for a month or so, maybe 2, it was really cool, having a place on our own and what not, up until things started falling apart, Icant say when it began to happen, but at some point I realized that she didnt love me, well not like I loved her, and you know, it started to hurt like hell, I became depressed, moody, sad, you know the emotions that you go through, and the most fucked up thing about it all, was that I had to sleep in the same bed as her, and see her everyday, and she acted like nothing was wrong, and that nothing was going on.
I think that being forced to deal with the issue at hand, everyday, made it easier to get over it in the end, see one night I went out with some friends, and when I got home, there she was, almost asleep, ont he floor in the living room, with this guy next to her. I walked in, looked down, and in the best sarcastic vicious voice that I could muster, "Oh, do you want me to leave?"
and after she said no, I walked into the bedroom, brushed my teeth, undressed, got into bed, and slept better than I had in months.
It was over, well most of it anyways, I no longer got up every morning feeling like shit, I could laugh again, feel myself again, be human again, and thats all that counts.
I moved out of the apartment, and back here to Colorado, shortly there after. Out of it all, I got my father back into my life, I knew him, but didnt become close to him, until all of this went down, and for that, I will always be grateful for, I learned that you can forgive, and forget, and move on.
We have kept in touch through out the years, she has a kid, and is married, and I just found out today that she moved to Florida last year, and I have to say, that although she used to be a flake, and that I was a rebound, of a rebound, and that I had made the decision not to talk to her until she contacted me in 2002, Im looking forward to our conversations, and to catch up on our lives.
I think that to date that this is my longest entry, obviously, I had alot to say, and I thank you all for bearing with my ramblings, and having the patience to read it all, and for those of you who didnt, you wont see this, but I understand, and dont hold it against you...LOL
Cheers all, Much love!
Jeremy
Just a little to this entry, I have been watching survivor off and on, this season, mostly the last month or so, and in the beginning, I thought that Matt was a freak, possibly a psycho, well now, I hope that he wins! LOL
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
sure, come see the matrix with us nerdy movie kids.
my soon-to-be-roommate says it's okay because you like sandman and so does she.
just don't serial kill us, it'll be a grand time.