So, this will be a 2 parter, I dont want to post 2 entries.
Got my dsl today, now I can be a snob...LOL My connection is faster than your........HA
Well, its cool, now I just need to figure out what music I want to rip...
Okay 2nd part, which is kinda dark...
I have a very active imagination, lots of scenerios about life, love, whatever catches my attention, at the moment, especially conversations involving confrontation, so yeah, maybe I do have issues...
Anyways, I was walking home today, and the thought of suicide hit me, now dont get me wrong, Im not suicidal, never have been, and trust me, Im not going to leave this existence by my own hands, but this whole scenerio hit me.
I was going to go home, call my family, just to talk a bit, email all my friends to say hello, pay attention to both cats, make sure that they had food and water, and pick a cd.
Im not too sure what I would listen to, something long, that way it was still playing, and then, I was going to draw a hot bath, climb in, and slit my wrists, this was all after I popped a 20 mg oxycontin, that way, I could go out with a buzz.
It was a wierd little day dream, very surreal, and it was amazing the details that I could see in my mind, so I decided to come home and write about it..
Okay, so Im done, just wanted to put that down, so you peeps, could see my wierd mind..
BTW, my speed is faster than yours...LOL
Cheers!!
For Ava
"Easier To Run"
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret Ive kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years theyve played
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didnt have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so thered never be a past
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I dont feel misplaced
Its so much simpler to change
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Its easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
Its easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
Got my dsl today, now I can be a snob...LOL My connection is faster than your........HA
Well, its cool, now I just need to figure out what music I want to rip...
Okay 2nd part, which is kinda dark...
I have a very active imagination, lots of scenerios about life, love, whatever catches my attention, at the moment, especially conversations involving confrontation, so yeah, maybe I do have issues...
Anyways, I was walking home today, and the thought of suicide hit me, now dont get me wrong, Im not suicidal, never have been, and trust me, Im not going to leave this existence by my own hands, but this whole scenerio hit me.
I was going to go home, call my family, just to talk a bit, email all my friends to say hello, pay attention to both cats, make sure that they had food and water, and pick a cd.
Im not too sure what I would listen to, something long, that way it was still playing, and then, I was going to draw a hot bath, climb in, and slit my wrists, this was all after I popped a 20 mg oxycontin, that way, I could go out with a buzz.
It was a wierd little day dream, very surreal, and it was amazing the details that I could see in my mind, so I decided to come home and write about it..
Okay, so Im done, just wanted to put that down, so you peeps, could see my wierd mind..
BTW, my speed is faster than yours...LOL
Cheers!!
For Ava
"Easier To Run"
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret Ive kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years theyve played
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didnt have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so thered never be a past
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I dont feel misplaced
Its so much simpler to change
[Chorus]
Its easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
Its so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Its easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
Its easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
roxxee:
Wow. I have day dreams like that too. (And I'm not suicidal either.) Perhaps it's more commen than I thought. Btw-I am jealous! I want DSL!
alia666:
Yeah, I have daydreams like that too. I think most people do.