queenghidrah

I know I really need to go to the Doc, but I don't want to. It's not so much a matter of fear or anything, just no motivation. I've had strep for two weeks now. I just keep manually removing the pus spots from my swollen tonsils, hoping that it will stop coming and they'll stop being swollen. My throat doesn't hurt though, just looks horrifying. And then there's my eye. I am now truely afraid I have that fungis thing, there's a sort of brown ring starting at the bottom of my left iris, almost looks like a shadow. THAT does scare me a little. Let the strep spread and kill me (I was told that could happen, dunno if it's true or not). But if I go blind, I HAVE to kill myself. If I can't see, I can't work, and if I can't work, there's nothing left for me.

I dunno. Maybe I'll go, eventually. Nobody really cares if I go or not, if my ailments spread and kill me or whatever. My dad just wants me to get penicillin so he can have some of it.

Other than that, I'm at work (where else would I be) Rav said working has become my whole life. Is that true? I don't really hang out anymore but..I dunno. Nobody really cares.