quasi_sean

will not be going home. going to baltimore from seattle. granny has died. be back sunday.

ok, so folks...

i leave for Seattle in the morning to visit with some lovely people. i will be back on Tuesday.

keep my bed warm for me.

28 things I totally dig. inspired by John W.

it is Saturday. (01)

I open one eye and realize that it is nearly 11 a.m. and that my room is still completely dark (02) due to the sheet I have hung over my window. I grab my Marlboro Milds (03) off of the table next to the bed and attempt to disguise my morning wood...
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lamentations mostly spoken to a window in a dark room

i want your transcriptions
skeletons
appreciations of the asylum where we meet where we are wrapped together at the spine. i want your accent in my ears.

i want your sorrows.
your songs
& madness

the morning notes
passed thru so many hands
that are drawings
& poems
of tomorrow

i want your tears to...
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some mean you are tiny like the shadow of a fly

years pass in a craze! lites out! begin the ritual!
find the womb where you left it years before.

i realize i cannot be perfect or anywhere near just troubled & ready at any time to decide to write my last notes & make it pretty & over
& gush--I promise it will be...
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how difficult to write

as she watches me i'm hunched over, scribbling odes to her beauty.

my diary-love has no use for me as a sober wannabe artist.

i think in moments. the jukebox spits Sinatra from one end of the alcohol cocoon to the other. pisses off the pool players and faux-gangsters who are defined only by the music around them and suddenly they...
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my autopsy will show signs of a struggle. diseased liver and failed kidneys lungs like wilted burned charcoal that sits in the bottom of a grill until they are useless bad vision and obesity and cracks in the heart sewed back together with threads of compliments and crushes and antibiotics stomach full of various pills some happier sadder sleepier wakeyouthefuckup i'm trying you see...there are...
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where the lucky folks begin to applaud in the showers and chewing soap until their teeth burn and fire fire fire....

last
chance
ever...

wish me luck
and be so kind
as to follow
where the trail ends up
and see it dissolve
near the corner

oh weeping
lucky dreams
save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

if i'm beautiful
there will be a way
to find me
in the...
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one more heart
is sitting alone
in a block
spitting up the
solution to apathy
in a bubble
& it left
the insane tomorrow

you're speaking
in those adorable
riddles
that leave your lips
w/one last glance
over their shoulder

running shivers
as i sweat
thru the bottles
hoping to
find
an excuse
to smile

and you
like the angel
having discovered
my brain
and...
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a confession, much like a whiskey burn....

arrive at bar at 9:30 p.m. order first drink. down it, go across the street for cigarettes, return, and order another. talk to owner of bar for a couple of minutes. make the rounds and shake hands with the regulars. comment on how young one looks after he has shaved. smile at his displeasure after receiving this news....
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