Questions....and Answers!!!
Dear Peanut Butter Jelly Time and TipsyCat,
Why in God's name would do you continue to drag the roomie's dirty laundry into your food and water bowls? I am not so much worried about having to constantly take it out (even tho the mere thought of touching his dirty clothes is enough to make my bowels quiver), but I am also worried about the possible contamination of said food. I'm scared!
--sean
houston, texas
Dear Sean,
Why do we do this? You know how you stupid humans like to pour cleaning products into washcloths, sniff them, and then sit around watching COPS while giggling like idiots?
Here's your answer, fuckhead. Cats like to get stoned on bad-smelling shit too.
Your cats,
PBJT and Tips.
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Dear President Bush,
How do you tie your shoes in the morning?
--bob
los angeles, california
Deer Bobb,
I lik to use teh kind uf shoos with velkro on dem so it make easy to put dem on. sumtimes i haf to ware nice shoos so i ask mr. cheny to tie dem for me. he laffs at me an then we thro pikles at him an me till i have big speech to say. gud queschun.
thanxs,
george bush preziident.
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Dear Larry the Cable Guy,
Why in God's name does anybody find you funny?
--angela
new york, new york
Dear Angela,
To attempt to explain the phenomenon of my success is ultimately futile. Perhaps the stars aligned in perfect formation and a higher power saw fit to bestow upon me the gift of being able to make "rednecks" chuckle uncontrollably at my particular brand of humor. I don't quite get it myself.
Quick backstory:
The man who you see onstage is not in fact named Larry. He is my drunk in-law who after being released from prison found it difficult to hold down a job. After testing his I.Q. and finding it not only disappointing, but in the TRAGIC low teens, I decided to introduce him to a good friend of mine who was looking for a fourth gentleman to round out his "Blue Collar" Comedy Team. So basically, I write all his jokes and put him up there as sort of a puppet, sans my hand in his hairy ass. I don't expect all of you to get my jokes, but it works for the audience to which it is aimed. Thank you for your inquiry.
Sincerely yours,
Lawrence Tennyson.
P.S. Although I do write his jokes, that "Git 'er done!" bullshit is all his.
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don't ask me to explain....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
new a.f.i. cd tomorrow. i am mucho excited.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and even better than that? 27 more sleeeeeeeeeeeeeps!!
Dear Peanut Butter Jelly Time and TipsyCat,
Why in God's name would do you continue to drag the roomie's dirty laundry into your food and water bowls? I am not so much worried about having to constantly take it out (even tho the mere thought of touching his dirty clothes is enough to make my bowels quiver), but I am also worried about the possible contamination of said food. I'm scared!
--sean
houston, texas
Dear Sean,
Why do we do this? You know how you stupid humans like to pour cleaning products into washcloths, sniff them, and then sit around watching COPS while giggling like idiots?
Here's your answer, fuckhead. Cats like to get stoned on bad-smelling shit too.
Your cats,
PBJT and Tips.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear President Bush,
How do you tie your shoes in the morning?
--bob
los angeles, california
Deer Bobb,
I lik to use teh kind uf shoos with velkro on dem so it make easy to put dem on. sumtimes i haf to ware nice shoos so i ask mr. cheny to tie dem for me. he laffs at me an then we thro pikles at him an me till i have big speech to say. gud queschun.
thanxs,
george bush preziident.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Larry the Cable Guy,
Why in God's name does anybody find you funny?
--angela
new york, new york
Dear Angela,
To attempt to explain the phenomenon of my success is ultimately futile. Perhaps the stars aligned in perfect formation and a higher power saw fit to bestow upon me the gift of being able to make "rednecks" chuckle uncontrollably at my particular brand of humor. I don't quite get it myself.
Quick backstory:
The man who you see onstage is not in fact named Larry. He is my drunk in-law who after being released from prison found it difficult to hold down a job. After testing his I.Q. and finding it not only disappointing, but in the TRAGIC low teens, I decided to introduce him to a good friend of mine who was looking for a fourth gentleman to round out his "Blue Collar" Comedy Team. So basically, I write all his jokes and put him up there as sort of a puppet, sans my hand in his hairy ass. I don't expect all of you to get my jokes, but it works for the audience to which it is aimed. Thank you for your inquiry.
Sincerely yours,
Lawrence Tennyson.
P.S. Although I do write his jokes, that "Git 'er done!" bullshit is all his.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
don't ask me to explain....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
new a.f.i. cd tomorrow. i am mucho excited.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and even better than that? 27 more sleeeeeeeeeeeeeps!!
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
frozensunshine:
How do you like the new afi cd? I'm fond of it.
ltrain:
Yeah it's been a long time... without chat I don't know what to do with myself. 