quasi_sean

why don't you kick me, sweetness?

I could lay underneath the clouds for hours, staring, watching them gather gray before erupting and drowning me on the nastiest streets of Houston that I could imagine.

the world is bored and i'm so restless tonight. somebody save me.

What were you doing here?

Oh my God...grab my cock and beat my face with that baseball bat while you sing the sweet curses you learned as an adolescent wandering the parks looking for me and--

back and you're telling me now how fucking beautiful I am while cutting me with the scissors and you're crying let me swallow all of those tears before they...
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Dragged down the dirt & sanity sleeps behind me.

Even though they tell a thousand stories
though the goddamn things cannot be
real,

but to me these comatose forcing down
the roads
waking to the spit hanging from my eyelashes fingernail claw marks raked across my throat & nude
expressionless
a million shotguns pointed to the death spots
no desire to cum ages since
I...
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No more writing is difficult
& I have it all inside
untamed, backwards
like the furry lap-dogs or
the hounds of Hell
in sick, desperate fits chained
furious to the burned brick wall--well aware of
the sour sadness they can smell through the masks &
determined to break free &
I know its real & so do they & all our freedoms
died this way...
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Tonight I will finally sink beneath the surface of the bathwater and in that way-too brief less-than-a-minute I will feel every tiny bit of dirt that managed to cling to me during the day. Only then will I feel completely exposed, nude in a disgustingly sad way--so much so that I'll fight the return to the surface, and weep when the body's will finally prevails....
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So, I've been gone for about 2 months & now I'm back.

It's lovely.


I haven't done much, altho I did move out, so now I live by my lonesome, which is nice and no longer do I have crowds of alcoholics keeping me up all night and wandering in and out of my room at odd hours. I went thru a couple of weeks...
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Lordy...been a long time since the last update...

I've been extrememly busy, w/many things happening...mainly my upcoming (tomorrow) move. I'll be SG-less but still on email for the next two weeks or so.

I've missed talking to you guys.
Email me.

Next update in a couple of weeks.

Laterz. sean.

Sean is back for a few minutes.

For the past week I've been bed-ridden, dehydrated horribly and puking whatever fluids I did put down. I went to the good Doctor on Thursday who had me get my blood levels drawn, and it seems the high dose of Lithium I was taking and the fact I wasn't keeping myself properly hydrated was making my blood toxic....ugh....
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One of these days I will be laughed out of the therapy waiting room, and I will flee in tears, clutching my bag like I belong in a John Hughes movie or a car commercial. Then I will come sneaking back to peer in and find the rest of the monsters of the madness screaming at each other who deserves the crown. And w/nothing to...
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My heart feels heavy, and pounds lighter at the same time...I just want to reach a million miles and grab her and bring her home...

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the nets that surrounded a child's brain were just flawed at some point & only caught glimpses of the Hell to be while laughing at the sun & enjoying afternoons--

& I grew older the rips became bigger started...
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I made it.

After a poetry reading--to those who did.


There are songs sang
that are made magnificent
when you see tears fall
off all the hearts in the room

& you start to read a
poem, a stanza of death maybe
that was painted on
a glass wall before the lights
went out & you stop--
& you cannot handle the manic pauses, the shaking & sluring...
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