nomoreandnothingbetter.
i climbed & climbed and all I saw was dust.
i bite my fingers that taste like frost & phonecords. Self-defeat swimming in my aura. Landslide--this is profound.
A montage of invites and flowers.
Let us go thru life like a set of pushups--bitching and moaning snorting seasoned salt thru a sleazy straw & selling sea-legs that are stained w/shit. Tattooed ladies are dancing...
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i climbed & climbed and all I saw was dust.
i bite my fingers that taste like frost & phonecords. Self-defeat swimming in my aura. Landslide--this is profound.
A montage of invites and flowers.
Let us go thru life like a set of pushups--bitching and moaning snorting seasoned salt thru a sleazy straw & selling sea-legs that are stained w/shit. Tattooed ladies are dancing...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
blisters in the ashtray.....oh.
in a moment the cracks in the walls will devour the figure who sits apparently making jokes and gnawing the skin off his fingertips while the cigarettes burn and i'll find a way, oh, goddamn, yes sure will to avoid this shadow once again for maybe the mind is ready to stop performing the sign language and is bracing itself for...
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in a moment the cracks in the walls will devour the figure who sits apparently making jokes and gnawing the skin off his fingertips while the cigarettes burn and i'll find a way, oh, goddamn, yes sure will to avoid this shadow once again for maybe the mind is ready to stop performing the sign language and is bracing itself for...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
i called you the other night.
your phone wasn't 'working'
your phone wasn't 'working'
miserybleeds:
thats ok 
thank you xoxo <333 
thank you xoxo <333 memories mean nothing in this space.
for everything is laid out & the machine can no longer pronounce the syllables that i speak and speak louder for all to hear as i roam the around inside this room that could be a padded cell, if only to intimidate me...counting the cobwebs chandeliers sticking to my face laughing groaning a symphony in the thick-air that lingers...
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for everything is laid out & the machine can no longer pronounce the syllables that i speak and speak louder for all to hear as i roam the around inside this room that could be a padded cell, if only to intimidate me...counting the cobwebs chandeliers sticking to my face laughing groaning a symphony in the thick-air that lingers...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
si quieres, puedo llamarte.
pandamonium:
i'm leaving my mom's house now ... i'll call you when i get home.
when all the good times have faded from memory and the symphony only knows one song somewhere everything will make sense and there will be angels all around with dark mascara and cures that will make me beautiful enough to make the mirrors cry and then...only then, can we drink and stare at each other thru the window and draw hearts where our breath has...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
yaya:
I MiSSED YOU SO MUCH!! Wondered about you and tried tracking you down in Houston. lol jk
::sighs:: Gosh, you always find a way to make me think about love the way you do.
::sighs:: Gosh, you always find a way to make me think about love the way you do.
pandamonium:
i'm genuinely sorry for the neglect, King. i haven't been on any computer in the last week almost.
my new job is seriously kicking my ass (it's been a loooong time since i've been a server)
i've also been spending quite a bit of time with twigtech .... so far everything's good .... my crazy hasn't come out of hibernation yet, though. we'll see if he can hang when it does
i haven't changed my cell number .... just so you know
take care, my King. i see the work pours abundantly as usual.
my new job is seriously kicking my ass (it's been a loooong time since i've been a server)
i've also been spending quite a bit of time with twigtech .... so far everything's good .... my crazy hasn't come out of hibernation yet, though. we'll see if he can hang when it does
i haven't changed my cell number .... just so you know
take care, my King. i see the work pours abundantly as usual.
beyond the door
i see minutes
melting
in the kitchen
w/o regard
for my neurosis
i gather what's left
and swallow
only dark stars
explode in the eye's sky
only time
makes it worse.
i see minutes
melting
in the kitchen
w/o regard
for my neurosis
i gather what's left
and swallow
only dark stars
explode in the eye's sky
only time
makes it worse.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
sorry, King, i just got your message
tried to call you back .. you must be tending to important kingdom decisions
Happy New Year!!
tried to call you back .. you must be tending to important kingdom decisions
Happy New Year!!
jacinda:
happy new year.
makeitbetter.
please.
please.
yaya:
I'll make it better baby...c'mere you! hehe
no use trying to silence the evening
who comes
silent at first
and then to scream
and when the whirlpool
calms for a moment
there you are
w/a smile
a sadness in your eyes
that swell like bruises
a moment of nudity
when you've exposed your soul
and i see where i was
back in the corner
behind the memories of august lust
and grand...
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who comes
silent at first
and then to scream
and when the whirlpool
calms for a moment
there you are
w/a smile
a sadness in your eyes
that swell like bruises
a moment of nudity
when you've exposed your soul
and i see where i was
back in the corner
behind the memories of august lust
and grand...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
yes, they are.
but more of a honey brown ... or amber ...
not shit brown.
the Queen isn't allowed to be full of shit. she must at all times give her King the utmost truth.
but more of a honey brown ... or amber ...
not shit brown.
the Queen isn't allowed to be full of shit. she must at all times give her King the utmost truth.
pandamonium:
i've been nothing other than honest with you through this entire discourse.
i fear decapitation too much.
i fear decapitation too much.
in his bedroom--simply i that lie & appalled, speaking all.
god. bright. laying altho excuses could relive a scene again. perhaps this windy season & moon will make it better & i can pick myself up off tragedy's doorstep.
woke as usual to a surge of illicit pleasure--
*thought*
"just when the letters grow cold & there's nothing to see & the funeral is almost...
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god. bright. laying altho excuses could relive a scene again. perhaps this windy season & moon will make it better & i can pick myself up off tragedy's doorstep.
woke as usual to a surge of illicit pleasure--
*thought*
"just when the letters grow cold & there's nothing to see & the funeral is almost...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
i think you're right.
we don't need girls fighting over you.
we don't need girls fighting over you.
pandamonium:
well if you'd quit looking at my pictures, you'd cease vomiting.
so it's been two months spent wishing death upon myself near starving w/no money and i've moved no job and i lie here freezing wishing there were ways i could apologize to people but cannot because it's become increasingly difficult to expect anyone to forgive me for things & i've managed to hold on to a few friends who have meant so much to me...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
jupitergrl:
i like your kitty's name.
Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas.
faelynia:
thank you!
this is my final scream, the end of my madness.
i've decided to leave...and i wanted to say that i love the friends i have made here, and hope that you all stay well.
goodbye.
i've decided to leave...and i wanted to say that i love the friends i have made here, and hope that you all stay well.
goodbye.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
lunna:
Seany!!!!!
I am sorry I've been a bad friend lately. I miss talking with you online,on the phone and in our journals. Keep in touch cutie!
I am sorry I've been a bad friend lately. I miss talking with you online,on the phone and in our journals. Keep in touch cutie!
holden_caulfield:
Why haven't you come back yet? Haven't you missed us?
to begin and crying makes sense
a little bit more for the crowd that is watching, and there are no secrets in the backroom--that place where it's okay to weep and scream at the sky as if somehow the walls will take pity on you and begin the healing process...giving you gallons of water to quench the thirst and stroking your hair telling you everything...
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a little bit more for the crowd that is watching, and there are no secrets in the backroom--that place where it's okay to weep and scream at the sky as if somehow the walls will take pity on you and begin the healing process...giving you gallons of water to quench the thirst and stroking your hair telling you everything...
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anniesegall:
WOOO-HOOO HOW 'BOUT THEN ASTROS!!!!
I am so pumped about the Astros. Just one more game. And Boston is coming back, so those teams will not have more time to rest. It is looking good. We should wrap things up tomorrow. Have a good week.
I am so pumped about the Astros. Just one more game. And Boston is coming back, so those teams will not have more time to rest. It is looking good. We should wrap things up tomorrow. Have a good week.
yaya:
Hi sweety! Once again you have me drooling. 
lol
GO ASTROS!!! Gosh, hate to be hooked on this games.
lol
GO ASTROS!!! Gosh, hate to be hooked on this games.
10:32
i miss you like crazy.
i miss you like crazy.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
pandamonium:
isn't that just fuckin great, though?
but i stay on AIM for days at a time.
As always, your writing is impecable(sp?). But I hope it's just your sensitivity speaking. The undertone is so extremely sad.