New post!
So this week is pretty lazy, and I'm excited for it! No more TU band rehearsal, I don't have to drive today, it feels SOOOO good! I'm just going to make some mushroom barley soup in my brand new slow cooker, and chill. Maybe clean the room, cause goddess knows it needs it, but we'll see how things go today. We are going to decorate the door. Because Halloween is less than a week away! I love this holiday, and I spent oh..... 10 bucks on my costume? Yeah, pretty sweet in my opinion. But anyway, the door will be all set for some Halloween funtimes, and I'm excited. It will be amazing.
In not so amazing news, I seem to be in a fight with my roommate..... She tried to extend the olive branch the other day, and I kinda blew her off...... not intentionally, but I was trying to do homework in another room, and I missed it. So I tried talking to her tonight when she came in, but she was on her phone, and hid in the room and went to bed. So I don't quite know what we're at now..... I think neither of us want to be mad, but the situation is not helped by our busy and opposite schedules. I know it's pretty much my fault, I said something that was semi offensive..... even though I was trying to be as tactful as possible, I failed somewhat. And she got a little snippy. I guess I was stressed, and I think I missed her, and have been kinda feeling resentful, and snapped right back, even though I shouldn't have. And thus, we've barely spoken all week. I think on my side, I just missed her.... and perhaps I am a little resentful that she seems to spend all her time with a certain Voldemort, who has hurt her in the past. She says it all good, but I'm still scared, and I feel a little betrayed. And abandoned. She was supposed to break up with him, but she's spending just as much time with Voldemort as before. I think that even though everything is "OK" now, it's going to blow up in her face again. And I don't want to see her hurt. And I want to see my best friend again. I'm loosing her to a guy she shouldn't have hooked up with in the first place. Damn. This is crazy, when it all started, she had just gotten hurt by a girl she was seeing. And we had put a moratorium on relationships. Friends were fine, but no more relationships till she got herself to a point where she respected herself, and wouldn't just do things to make people happy at her own expense. But then Voldemort was there, and they hit it off too well, and they agreed it wasn't serious, and then he flips out on her and attempts to force his boy scout conservative morals on her. And there goes the downhill spiral. And it's gotten worse since then, and I think it's affecting our friendship. Scratch that, it is. I hate that it is, it shouldn't. Le sigh....... Sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish about it. I know I can't keep her to myself. I know she's going to have a life, but can I get in there? I feel like since we "live together" she never makes time for me, and I'm being taken for granted. But she's got so much going on with the nursing program and work, I don't want to demand anything. But good lord, I hate the feeling of abandonment. Don't ask me why, my parents loved me and all, so I don't think it's some strange childhood thing, but I still hate feeling abandoned. And I feel like she's abandoned me in favor of someone else who while he may care for her, he's also hurt her. Abused her even, even if it's not physical. And I don't think it's stopped.
Damn, and this post started out so happy too.....
So this week is pretty lazy, and I'm excited for it! No more TU band rehearsal, I don't have to drive today, it feels SOOOO good! I'm just going to make some mushroom barley soup in my brand new slow cooker, and chill. Maybe clean the room, cause goddess knows it needs it, but we'll see how things go today. We are going to decorate the door. Because Halloween is less than a week away! I love this holiday, and I spent oh..... 10 bucks on my costume? Yeah, pretty sweet in my opinion. But anyway, the door will be all set for some Halloween funtimes, and I'm excited. It will be amazing.
In not so amazing news, I seem to be in a fight with my roommate..... She tried to extend the olive branch the other day, and I kinda blew her off...... not intentionally, but I was trying to do homework in another room, and I missed it. So I tried talking to her tonight when she came in, but she was on her phone, and hid in the room and went to bed. So I don't quite know what we're at now..... I think neither of us want to be mad, but the situation is not helped by our busy and opposite schedules. I know it's pretty much my fault, I said something that was semi offensive..... even though I was trying to be as tactful as possible, I failed somewhat. And she got a little snippy. I guess I was stressed, and I think I missed her, and have been kinda feeling resentful, and snapped right back, even though I shouldn't have. And thus, we've barely spoken all week. I think on my side, I just missed her.... and perhaps I am a little resentful that she seems to spend all her time with a certain Voldemort, who has hurt her in the past. She says it all good, but I'm still scared, and I feel a little betrayed. And abandoned. She was supposed to break up with him, but she's spending just as much time with Voldemort as before. I think that even though everything is "OK" now, it's going to blow up in her face again. And I don't want to see her hurt. And I want to see my best friend again. I'm loosing her to a guy she shouldn't have hooked up with in the first place. Damn. This is crazy, when it all started, she had just gotten hurt by a girl she was seeing. And we had put a moratorium on relationships. Friends were fine, but no more relationships till she got herself to a point where she respected herself, and wouldn't just do things to make people happy at her own expense. But then Voldemort was there, and they hit it off too well, and they agreed it wasn't serious, and then he flips out on her and attempts to force his boy scout conservative morals on her. And there goes the downhill spiral. And it's gotten worse since then, and I think it's affecting our friendship. Scratch that, it is. I hate that it is, it shouldn't. Le sigh....... Sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish about it. I know I can't keep her to myself. I know she's going to have a life, but can I get in there? I feel like since we "live together" she never makes time for me, and I'm being taken for granted. But she's got so much going on with the nursing program and work, I don't want to demand anything. But good lord, I hate the feeling of abandonment. Don't ask me why, my parents loved me and all, so I don't think it's some strange childhood thing, but I still hate feeling abandoned. And I feel like she's abandoned me in favor of someone else who while he may care for her, he's also hurt her. Abused her even, even if it's not physical. And I don't think it's stopped.
Damn, and this post started out so happy too.....