I guess I am just old fashion. I was raise that if you do well to others that they will be good to you. But all it seems like today is that being a friend meaning giving, but ever getting. Every women I have care for has hurt me. I have PTSD. I don't sleep. The medications the VA gives me don't work. They say I have suicidal tendencies. So I always pick the ones that say they love me, but just want to be friends, which means take care of me but I dont want any physical attachments. When one says they love you, there are responsibilities that come with that word. It only has one meaning. I have been placed on the cross of I love you dearly, I have bleed out. I am dead. This is how I feel now. Hearts dont mend quickly. And when I am gone, she has no one to blame but herself. I trusted her. She was all that was keeping me going. 