qfreak69

Saturday, 28 July, I recorded a Band called Apollo's Groove. They are a local band, four hours in a mobile studio, Sunday afternoon I edited and did voices over on the five songs they pick, Monday the 30th of July, I got on an airplane to Boston for an Infrared Training Course. The Room was filled with engineers, scientists, and PhDs. I always am the only self educated non-degree person in the class my job sends me too. But I always hold my own with those kind of people. They respect my knowledge for what it is. Thirty-three years of degreed level work, in everything from lasers to sub-miniature electronics designed work. I have been a product Engineering Technician, an instrument mechanic, a senior plant Electronic Technician, and electronics Technician, and a Staff Sergeant. I have use and abuse; promised promotions, and worked in a manner that could be consisted servitude. I have always tried to help people out, when they are in need, ever asking anything in return. I am a tired OLE Vietnam veteran, who the VA uses just like they use all veterans, promised to be taken care of, but then have to fight to get the minimum they will give. I give this country nine long years of my life, so good Americans can called me names and look at me like I am a plague. The kids I have try to raise, have soled from me, forgotten me, used everything I have for their own possesses, left my life in disorder, and destroyed my faith in the family system. The VA says I have issues, OCD, and PSTD. I have a total of 7 bad vertebras bad in my back. When I ride any distance, my right hand tingles, due to the nerve damage I received when I was in the Air Force, but denied the benefits there of. The bad vertebras in my bad are from doing my duty for the country. Both in service and as a government worker, all in all I have serve this country 26 years, but have nothing to show for it. I took money against what little retirement I will receive to start a recording busy, and have been took but the people I have tried to help. My job put me in condition where I have to lift object, I am not suppose to according to the VA, but I have to do it anyway, as a job requirement. I am a worn out OLE Vet that can't sleep at nights; because of my I have had to do for you, my country. I am told that I have to learn a second language to fit into this country that so many of my fellow brothers die for. I am told I must let undocumented aliens have the social benefits that I myself can't get. How many of you have given so much and ask so little. How many have been put in the position of not have electricity or water in the house you are trying to pay for so, if you end up in a wheel chair, you wouldn't have to been living under the bridge downtown? Have you paid your debt today, to those who do what this country asks of them, without thought to themselves? You work for yourselves, play for yourselves, live for yourselves. You use the rights given to you to monk those who have giving life, limbs, and their sanity. I take VA meds to sleep at night, because I believe this country cared, but I was betrayed. When I was making $5.25 an Hour, trying to feed a wife and two sons, my son were denied school lunches, but the children from across the border, got them, when their parents were making $9.75, in the fields. I live in a room, in a house I am paying for, afraid to leave the door unlocked, because what little I have would be stolen. I sleep with my service weapon, under my pillow. And now I say, now I lay me down to sleep, with hope the dreams will not come, in hope I will awake without the thunder of the bomb and rockets in my ears, and if I die before I wake, I pray that God, yes, I said God, and for those you that I offend, you can go to Iraq and yearn the right to be offended, that I might be the doorman at heaven, so I can welcome all my brothers home. For I have seen so many die, that life itself has little meaning. I have very few people I can call friends, friend's comfort you when you are in need. I am so tired and just want to go home, but even that is denied me. So I wait for the hand of death to come, I help all you kids with your music, because that is the only thing that brings a little light into my dark world. You see, I served the country, when I should haven writing poetry, and playing music, and the stuff in my head, isn't worth the time of day. To all those who know they are my friends, I am sorry, but there is so much inside me, that has to come out, or I will be insane, like they want me to be.