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Deep inside the unstable mind

SG Since 2004

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Tuesday Jul 20, 2004

Jul 20, 2004
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Life is funny.

All of our lives we make impressions on people, and in turn they make impressions on us. These impressions become part of us, it is the rest of humanity that shapes us into who we are, no one can be one hundred percent original. The people around us define ourselves, it is the consequence of experiencing them. After all, the other definition of impression is a mark produced on a surface by a pressure.

Where am i going with this? We'll get there.

So, logically, if if the people in our lives make up who we are as a person, then we would be nothing without them. To lose them would be like losing parts of ourselves. Then perhaps why we cling to people is not for companionship, we do it so we can feel alive. Because if there was no one around us, we would be dead empty shells, with no meaning or purpose, and no reason to exist.

When someone dies, i don't think that we're sad of their leaving, because after all it's part of a natural cycle, but we are deeply depressed at the thought of losing a part of ourselves. We are not afraid of being alone, we are afraid of being empty. Something has left us that we can never get back, and that kind of feeling is overwhelming.

What about love? To open yourself fully to another being, to let them see every inch of you, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It's an exchange of emotions to massive to even fathom.

To lose someone you love isn't like losing a small fraction of your being, it's losing a massive chunk. How much effect someone has on us is how we gauge their importance in our lives. If this wasen't a factor, then we would feel the same way about every death that happens on this earth, we would mourn every person the same way, wether we knew them or not. Everything would be on the same level.

So, what do you do when you haven't lost someone, but you feel like their already gone? That no impression you could make could possibly make them better. That despite all the impressions you've exchanged, they still feel empty. What worth do we have if we are helpless? and no feeling in this world is worse than helplessness.

I don't want to feel helpless.

I wish i could help.

But it's like trying to break down a steel wall with a hammer made of marshmallows.

How many different things can you try?

Even if i've tried them all, i probably won't stop trying.

I love you f:uckface.

I hope you know it.



I'll stop rambling now. Maybe i'm still asleep or something. I don't think i make any sense right now, but maybe i do....i don't know. I'm not very sensible.

I don't really feel like it, but i'll put up my fourth design anyway. The cloth was a bitch to ink.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
gerry_d:
"So, what do you do when you haven't lost someone, but you feel like their already gone?"

that's an even bigger kick in the teeth. to know that they're there, but not for you. but like all things, luckily that feeling doesn't last.



i like the drawing above very much.


have you seen this new book by the way?
new book
Jul 20, 2004
shinboxer:
Very nice designs. They have that lankey look that reminds me of fashion sketches, but with more of an experimental edge. From one illustrator to another,...cool stuff miss.
Jul 20, 2004

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