pyrilamine

I watched a truly inspirational movie last night, and it really put my life in perspective. It moved me more than any movie I have evr watched, "My Life Without Me" Ann is 23-years-old, she has 2 young daughters, a husband who spends more time unemployed than working, a mother who hates the world, a father who has spent the last ten years in jail, and a job as a night janitor in a university that she could never attend in the daytime. They all live in a trailer, on the yardof her mothers house, in the outskirts of Vancouver. However, this gray existence changes completely when, after a medical check-up, a doctor tells Ann that she has very little time left on this earth. Learning that she has hardly two months to live, Ann decides to keep her condition a secret, and refuses to tell anybody--not even her husband--about her time remaining. She does not want people around her with long faces, and obsessed with her approaching death. Ann starts to make a list of things to do before dying, which she completes little by little. The list targets a wide range of things to which she must attend, including carrying out tasks like: saying exactly what she thinks to certain people; as well as getting herself some fake fingernails. Unexpectedly, Ann discovers an appetite for life that drives her to live her last days with a sensual and furious intensity she had not known before. During this short time, she prepares her daughters for a life without her; she meets a solitary wounded man, whom she seduces; and most importantly, Ann faces what remains of her life with a certain steadfast courage she never knew she possessed.

It truly forced me to look into myself, and realize something, Someone once told me, "Life is but a web we weave, live it as if each day were you last, make each morning your first, make your last breath the past, this breath your present and the next breath your future." We never know where life is going to take you.and at that point in my life, my ears would not hear, and my eyes would not see but it seems clearer to me now, clearer than it ever has, I could honestly die tomorrow, as could anyone that i care about, I have spent most of my life clinging to things,for fear of loss, trying to hold the pieces of sand in my hand, when I honestly have no control over life or death, that is in the hands of my creator, I really haven't let go and let god as much as i should, I have blamed him for so long for the faults I find in my life, when I dont really let go long enough to see his plan, and I dont thank him enough just for the blessing of life. I want everyone I know to go out and rent this movie, please, whether you believe in god or not, This movie will have an impact on your life. Please remember one thing for me, Tonight could be your last moment with the ones you love, Let them know every moment you can that they are loved.


Please dont leave room for regret.


Live your life to the fullest, vibrant and free. Make it count, it may be the only chance you have.
Its the moments in life that we reflect upon that make up our lives worth. The little things we sit and remember, I wish I had said this, I wish I had done that. Why didnt I tell her to stay? Things like that are what riddle our lives. Its the measure of what we did rather than what we did not do that makes us noble. In the hearts and minds of others but mostly our own. I want to sit and reflect 60 years from now, sick or healthy, alive or dead, and be happy with the decisions and things that i have made or done. I want as little regret as possible and I want the quality of my life to be exceptional. I dont want to sit and wonder what could have been, rather i would like to be awed by what did happen. But, as long as we make decisions based on fear and what others will think and the social and politically correct standard, I wonder if we can ever be truly happy. I have sat and preached to many of my bestest of friends about the quality of life and how important it s to do and say what you want, But yet i it here and do something i hate because i think it gets better and WIth a lot of things that I reflect on right no, I wonder if it ever does get any better or are we really gonna sit and eat shit the rest of our lives? Is it worth all the fighting and screaming and clawing back up, when all thats gonna happen is we fall back down and have to pick ourselves back up. By God I hope It is worth it. Because that what im gonna do. Against my head and heartache, I have to believe it gets better, and I will continue to claw my way back up, maybe this time ill find my plateau.