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pyratwilly

Member Since 2003

Followers 14 Following 18

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Friday Aug 29, 2003

Aug 28, 2003
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I think I've pretty solidly located the sources of my internal hostility well overflow.

1a) my lack of employment

2b) my lack of funds that results from the lack of employment

3c) my lack of social interaction - I'm not like Louise - i.e. I WANT to leave the house more than once every six weeks. In fact - how bout TWICE in one week?

4d) personal shit I'm not going to get into here - but I can say pretty confidently that this is highest on the list, right after the whole no money/ no job thing.

5e) I'm surrounded by frickin' FINKS. Rat finks.

Webster says a fink is "one disapproved of or held in contempt" synonymous with a strikebreaker or informer. To fink out is to synonymous with to cop out or back out. A rat fink is simply the same as a fink.

I say bollocks to Webster on this one. I say, a fink is a lowdown scurvy motherfucker. I say: A fink primarily is someone who says they'll do something and then doesn't. Like says they'll come to pirate drinking and then doesn't. Or says they'll go bowling and then doesn't. I like using the word fink and I'd appreciate it if it wasn't tossed around like so much old salad. A Rat Fink is the worst of the worst. A Rat Fink is not to be trusted AT ALL. A person who is known as Rat Fink is to be avoided and not associated with, if you can help it.

I seem to be surrounded by finks. I won't go so far as to name names, because that'd just be mean. For all I know you all had extenuating circumstances for why you couldn't be at Pirate drinking tonight. Or maybe, you just didn't feel like it. That's okay too. But godamnit - some of yous...and you know who you are... are walking dangerously close to me calling you a RAT FINK in public-like. Or at least in my journal.

And yeah, this is for the most part, all in fun. Not that I should have to say that, but until they come up with a sarcasm emoticon - and because there may be some new folks reading here who aren't accustomed to my unique, abrasive, and downright nasty style - I just did.

Speaking of emoticons - I saw somebody had a little Devil head one - where do I get that one??

But overall, yeah - I'm fucking through. I'm done with this shit, I can't take this shit, I don't have to take this shit, I won't take this shit, I shouldn't have to take this shit. Fuck this shit, I can't cut this shit, so don't bring that shit here. Bullshit, dogshit, ratshit, batshit, horseshit, I don't want to hear from that shit. Fuck that shit.

I'm about to go uber-geek on you here, so brace yourself:

In the 1989 Batman movie The Joker (Jack Nicholson) said something to the effect of: "I have given a name to my pains Bob, and that name is Batman." and later, he said: "I've got a flying mouse to kill, and I want to clean my claws."

For some reason that came to mind a couple nights ago. I can finally put a name on the pains I've got, but there's not much I can do to clean my claws to handle this flying rodent. This is that personal matter I was talking about earlier.

To go back further in movie history, in the Director's Cut of Blade Runner Leon (?) and Roy (Rutger Hauer) both say: "It's painful to live in fear, isn't it?" and Leon says "There's nothing worse than having an itch you can never scratch." and Deckard (Harrison Ford)agrees.

That's kind of how I feel at moment. I'm afraid of where this whole mess is going like I'm in a runaway mine cart and have nothing I can do about it except see where I end up. And hope it's not in the lava. (that's from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, yo.)

Enough then, I'm through. g'night.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
disappearhere:
Yeah, I went to the Pirates Cove and Big Daddy said you guys had just left!! What up wit dat?!?!

Oh well, there will be more Thursdays.
Aug 29, 2003
rickroyal:
Knowing what you want and knowing what prevents your happiness are two of the most useful things in the world. Not knowing how to either get what you want or to eliminate the barrier to happiness is one of the most annoying things. I'm sorry to hear that you've got several itches that you can't find a way to scratch them. Of course, there's always the danger of paralysis through analysis (what an annoyingly new age phrase, eh?), which makes me think of The Shawshank Redemption, as does the "living in fear" quote. One hopes Brookes' solution never seems appropriate.

And I apologize for not showing up at Pirates. I didn't know about it and I'm fifteen hundred miles away, but sorry I couldn't be there. Truly.

With the 2nd person narrative, I understand what you were going for, and it's a noble goal, and some people enjoy it, but it doesn't work for me. Personal taste type thing. No fault of your own.

And, heh, I did wait for the wounds to close before going down on someone.

And how could that brain atrophy with Meph out there?
Aug 29, 2003

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