It's been a long day. It began at 12:50am Friday morning when I woke up after falling asleep when I got home at dialysis. Now it's 12:54am Saturday morning when I'm getting home and trying to fall asleep. Over the course of 24 hours I've:
- Saved a universe and become a god... again
- gained 7 levels in Age of Conan
- found a new vascular surgeon (my appointment is on the 21st. Wish me luck)
- been treated to sushi
- seen Hellboy 2 with Chris, Julia and Raseny
It's been a crazy couple of days. Although circumstances seem to be going great for the people in the nearest vicinity to me, my situation is static. Ellen has a new job making great money. Beth (my aunt) starts a new job next week making good money. Raseny has so much good stuff going on I would need a seperate blog entry just to talk about it all. Having the people around me doing well and feeling good about themselves and their lives is sort of infectious, and makes me feel like my life is somehow getting better along with theirs.
And in some ways it is. Ellen's new job means more opportunities for me, including a new place to live, and a few trips to visit people. Raseny's good fortune allows her to do things like take me out for sushi, and makes her available for things like driving me downtown for donuts and such. Beth's new job means she'll be out of the house during the days instead of haunting it like some judgmental specter like she's been doing for the last year.
As for me, though, things are very much the same. My arm today was significantly more swollen then a few days ago. Enough that Raseny repeatedly commented on it. Something she hasn't done before. It also hurt a lot more than usual. Even keeping it elevated most of the day, getting out for a dinner and a movie required the help of some oxycodone to keep from gnawing my arm off.
Ellen's fortune means that my primary source of psychological support is now 1000 miles away. Beth's job means that there is no one to help me should something go horribly wrong on the days I don't have dialysis. Meanwhile Raseny's twist of fate... doesn't really hold any negative consequences for me. Her story is pretty much awesome.
Maybe my situation could best be described as "stable." Although my arm is a hassle (and by "hassle" I mean constant, mind numbing agony), it's also not causing any new life threatening problems. There is nothing at the moment that indicates an imminent return to the hospital. No frightening scenarios poised and ready strike can be seen. And this is a good thing.
It feels delicate and dangerous, though, this stability. I worry that a misstep here, or a stumble there (both figuratively and literally) could lead to a whole new mess of woe. The more I think about the last 7 months, though, stable is probably as big an improvement for me as the other changes of fortune have been for the people around me.
Maybe my life isn't all roses and gumdrops, but I'm alive and I'm stable. Tonight I think I can be happy with that.
- Saved a universe and become a god... again
- gained 7 levels in Age of Conan
- found a new vascular surgeon (my appointment is on the 21st. Wish me luck)
- been treated to sushi
- seen Hellboy 2 with Chris, Julia and Raseny
It's been a crazy couple of days. Although circumstances seem to be going great for the people in the nearest vicinity to me, my situation is static. Ellen has a new job making great money. Beth (my aunt) starts a new job next week making good money. Raseny has so much good stuff going on I would need a seperate blog entry just to talk about it all. Having the people around me doing well and feeling good about themselves and their lives is sort of infectious, and makes me feel like my life is somehow getting better along with theirs.
And in some ways it is. Ellen's new job means more opportunities for me, including a new place to live, and a few trips to visit people. Raseny's good fortune allows her to do things like take me out for sushi, and makes her available for things like driving me downtown for donuts and such. Beth's new job means she'll be out of the house during the days instead of haunting it like some judgmental specter like she's been doing for the last year.
As for me, though, things are very much the same. My arm today was significantly more swollen then a few days ago. Enough that Raseny repeatedly commented on it. Something she hasn't done before. It also hurt a lot more than usual. Even keeping it elevated most of the day, getting out for a dinner and a movie required the help of some oxycodone to keep from gnawing my arm off.
Ellen's fortune means that my primary source of psychological support is now 1000 miles away. Beth's job means that there is no one to help me should something go horribly wrong on the days I don't have dialysis. Meanwhile Raseny's twist of fate... doesn't really hold any negative consequences for me. Her story is pretty much awesome.
Maybe my situation could best be described as "stable." Although my arm is a hassle (and by "hassle" I mean constant, mind numbing agony), it's also not causing any new life threatening problems. There is nothing at the moment that indicates an imminent return to the hospital. No frightening scenarios poised and ready strike can be seen. And this is a good thing.
It feels delicate and dangerous, though, this stability. I worry that a misstep here, or a stumble there (both figuratively and literally) could lead to a whole new mess of woe. The more I think about the last 7 months, though, stable is probably as big an improvement for me as the other changes of fortune have been for the people around me.
Maybe my life isn't all roses and gumdrops, but I'm alive and I'm stable. Tonight I think I can be happy with that.