pwndcake

On Tuesday I go in for surgery. Yes, another one. This one will have life altering results no matter what happens. You might think, "Aren't all surgeries life altering?" This only goes to show you haven't had the wide variety of surgeries I have had. Trust me, this one's important. There isn't exactly a short version of what's going, but here's a shorter version:

The surgeon will cut open the skin between around my belly, underneath my rib cage. He'll look around, and see how my peritoneal cavity looks. If it looks to be in good shape he's going to insert a peritoneal catheter that I can use for dialysis. With that catheter in place I can do dialysis at home, and without needles. Yay!

If the peritoneal cavity looks bad they won't put in the catheter. They'll sew that incision up, and instead transform one of the veins in my leg into a dialysis access. There is a strong possibility they will have to do this, since I have had peritonitis before, and that can permanently damage the peritoneal cavity. If that's the case I will need the dialysis access in my leg since my arm is almost useless for dialysis now. It's causing me a lot of problems, Now is the time for the access to be closed off, and let my arm return to as near to normal as it can.

If the surgery succeeds it means increased freedom, no more crappy techs, no more condescending nurses, and - most importantly - no more needles.

If it fails it means more hemo-dialysis, only now with needles in my leg. My hairy, scrawny leg. I'll get to wear shorts, and have some strange dialysis tech's hands wielding a big, sharp needle mere inches from my crotch.

So here I am, unable to sleep, worried and hopeful for the future at the same time. Tuesday everything changes. Again.