I really don't have any strong memories of wanting to be anything when I was a kid. I guess I wasn't a very ambitious kid. I didn't want to be a doctor, or a police officer, or an athlete... I didn't want to be an artist, or an astronaut, or anything really...
When I did a career aptitude test at the start of highschool, it said I should be an architect, so for a while I just said that. But I don't think I really meant it. A bit later I just said I wanted to work in an office, I didn't really know what I meant when I said that, it just seemed like a good thing to say... I imagined it to be a well paid job that didn't require physical labour, and I didn't really think about it beyond that because... I just didn't care. All I wanted was to have friends and be happy.
The first time I actually remember having a distinct idea of what I wanted to be was when I was about 16. I had no friends, and stayed at home in my room all day every day, and I listened to the radio non stop for about 10 hours a day. And so, I decided I wanted to be a radio DJ. I liked the idea of playing the music I liked and having some fun banter in-between. It was an unrealistic ambition, given that I was (and still am) cripplingly shy. I'd never have been able to talk on the radio in front of that many people. But it was a nice fantasy.
What am I today? Well, I'm unemployed due to my disability, but my even before that, my lack of ambition as a kid turned into a lack of ambition as an adult, so I've never really been anything. In a way, I'm exactly where I was 18 years ago. I have practically no friends, I sit at home, alone, watching stuff on YouTube and Twitch, and have fantasies of being a YouTuber and a streamer. And it's not much more likely now than it was then. I'm still really shy and anxious, and the idea of talking into a mic, for people to watch, scares me. Not to mention a camera.
Even so, I bought a mic, and a camera, and I've been planning on building a gaming PC... Maybe one day I'll give it a try... But mostly I still just want to have friends and be happy.
@missy @rambo