purplep41n

I'm ill - its not fair. Went to Manchester again the weekend just gone and spent it in a delirium of cough medicine and booze - wasn't half bad but I'm now off work and once again going to miss a freebie into a gig of one of our artists that we distribute - Karine Polwart and she's fantastic so gutted. If you like a bit of bluesy/jazzy/folky folk then you'll love her stuff.

I'm a bit confused about a guy I'm seeing. We're having an open relationship of sorts but he's stayed back in Manchester and I'm worried that when he gets back we're gonna have to just be friends. You see its really only me that has taken advantage of the open relationship (only kissing) side of things anyway because he keeps going after these trophy girls who love to play with blokes you know before taking things further. He had one of those before and it was a nightmare ("when you're in love with a beautiful women - you better watch your friends lalala").

Anywho, him being away and knowing that he is most likely out with one of these girls is hurting me a bit. Which doesn't make sense because I'm not ready to be in a proper relationship again. But what we have is really special, even just the friendship side of it and I don't want to lose that...maybe thats what it really is that is worrying me. I don't want it to be the other thing you know. I really appreciate that I have had the chance to fall in love 3 times in the last five years (so many people never get to feel that) but I need a break from that feeling for a bit you know - I just want to be me for a bit.